“You are unique!” We’ve all heard that time and time again. But what is it that actually makes you unique?
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It’s your specific characteristics that distinguish you from others. Characteristics like your personality, all your traits with all the quirks, rituals and habits, that makes you typically YOU!
The majority of us want other people to like and love us for who we are. Strange enough though, most people are to shy to sum-up all their good qualities, but have no hesitation listing what they believe to be their bad characteristics and habits. Are you familiar with that feeling?
Would you agree that you would radiate a completely different energy to others if you would be balanced in your opinion about yourself, instead of putting more emphasis on your (alleged) negative qualities than your positive ones? Would the way you perceive yourself not reflect in anything you radiate to others?
It’s okay to be skeptical towards yourself. It will keep you on your toes and stimulates you to get the best out of yourself. But if it’s not in a balanced way because you criticize and question everything you do, it will devaluate who you really are.
An unrealistic negative self-image will exhaust you. By understanding how our brain works, you will know that an unrealistic negative self-image can even lead to serious health and relationship problems. You will also understand how to overcome shyness and create a balanced self-image.
Are you up for a daring exercise to increase your self-appreciation? Here’s what you can do:
Write down ALL your great qualities, ALL your characteristics that makes you, YOU.
Also write down your qualities that other people told you that they appreciate you for. Create this list without any boundaries of shyness! This will usually increase your awareness about how you already inspired other people.
To deepen your understanding of how to inspire others even more, you can make another list of the people that inspire you. Write also down how they did this. This will give you additional ideas and tools to perfect your power to inspire others.
Who are the people that said the right words at the right time to encourage or help you to overcome a problem or hesitation? Who helped you take the next step, inspired you to make a great decision or finish that job successfully? And in what way did they do that?
I hope from the bottom of my heart that you have (or will find) several inspiring people like that in your life. Who are the people that believe in you, see you the way you are and totally accept the whole you and not just a part of it?
Often, not so much is needed to be that kind of person. Lending a helping hand without somebody asking you for it, a phone call, an e-mail, a postcard, just to let the other know you’re thinking of them. Sometimes that’s all that is needed to be inspiring and saying the right words at the right time. Or sometimes, just being there without saying anything is the perfect thing to do.
We all need each other and in most cases it’s the little things, the things that are so easy to do that we forget. We’re all longing for the feeling that we’re not alone; the secure feeling that there is always someone out there for us.
Ready for our next little exercise?
Ask a good friend or family member how they see you? You will notice that they will come up with all kinds of positive traits and qualities about you. They will even illustrate this with stories from your past to confirm these qualities.
The result is always a win/win! They will definitely provide you with a much more positive image of yourself than your own self-image. And even….even if they might come up with a negative quality, even that is still a “win” for you. Why? Because if you feel, umm… that person is right about that, I’ve never seen it like that before, they’ve handed you the opportunity to improve yourself and become even more likable than before.
After you become aware of what your unique qualities are, you can start to perfect them to inspire others. To find role models who inspire, just ask yourself: “Who inspired me?” What did they do that inspired you? How did this inspire you and give you the courage to take your next step in life?
Do you belong to that large group of people that deal with this nagging feeling that you are never good enough for others, or are you unable to love yourself in a balanced way? Are you always busy giving in and sharing with others? Are they the right people to share your time and energy with?
If you have difficulties with these little exercises, ask yourself why, or what is even much more important: are you willing to have a balanced self-image and a good feeling about yourself?
We are not born with negative feelings and sabotaging beliefs about ourselves. They are created during our life. There’s a fantastic book called “Desirable Power” that I write about a lot, and it explains exactly how these sabotaging beliefs are created, and more importantly, how to transform a negative self-image into a balanced and positive one.
Inspire your unique self and pass it on to others!