Why Your Friend Mechanism Is Your Truest Friend: Part 2

In one of my previous blogs I promised we would talk more about how our friend mechanism creates misleading belief systems when bad clusters are activated in our brain.

I’m referring here to those beliefs that interfere with reaching your goals. You clearly feel you can reach your goal, but somehow it never happens quite the way you imagined it because there seems to be always be something else that hinders you in your process in making it happen.

By knowing that these sabotaging processes are created in your subconscious brain and understanding how these mechanisms work, you will get the insight on how to change that. This will not only stop the sabotaging interference, but will also provide you with the tools you’ll need to reach your goals even faster.

When it comes to our feelings, we are true masters of lying and deceiving ourselves with ‘great’ belief systems. But because this is all prepared in our subconscious we are not automatically aware of it. It is not a conscious process of weighing every pro and con. It feels like it “just happens” and before you know it, you say or do something that is sabotaging your goal-oriented process.

In many of these cases you ask yourself later on: “Why didn’t I say no?” or, ”Why in the world did I make that decision?” Do you recognize this kind of scenario?  And the most remarkable part of this is that you “believe” why you said yes and why you made that decision because it seemed so “logical” and genuinely was the best thing to do at that time.

The real reason why you’ve created these sabotaging beliefs that felt so right at that moment lies within activated bad clusters. The joint venture of your bad clusters and the protecting interference of your friend mechanism form a very dangerous time bomb of interference.  And who wants to walk around with a time bomb in their body if there is an easy solution to defuse it?

In order to transform this mechanism and conquer its negative effect, you will first have to identify it.

And like I said in my previous blog you will be your own Sherlock Holmes, and will discover how to reach your goals effortlessly and on top of that, will discover a lot of “precious diamonds of energy” that just are dormant in your brain, just waiting to get discovered.

When the sensory details you observe now and in the future are also present in a bad cluster, these details will activate the bad cluster. As a result, you will feel the same negative feelings in your body as during the bad cluster experience from your past.

These negative feelings will activate your friend mechanism. This mechanism comes into play whenever unpleasant or unwanted feelings come up. The way it reacts is controlled by how you programmed this mechanism during the original bad cluster situation. So in a way, your friend simply obeys what you’ve taught it in the past.

We program our friend mechanism to react in two specific ways:

1. To create behavioral rituals

2. To create misleading beliefs


Imagine yourself at a party where your friends invited a lot of people you didn’t know. Suddenly one of the guests asks you something that activates a painful memory for you. It is a topic that you typically try to avoid because every time this topic crosses your mind you feel overwhelmed with negative emotions.

beauty girl cry

The person who brought up this topic obviously doesn’t get the message by your avoidance of answers and body language (how annoying is that….) and keeps talking and addressing the topic. You feel the urge to react in a more direct way because you really don’t want to talk about that topic.

Now your friend mechanism kicks in by activating several belief systems like: “It is rude to walk away?” Or: “If I express, I don’t want to talk about that subject, they’ll think that I’m weak,” or any other belief that stops you from reaching your goal to end this conversation.

So you follow your beliefs, keep up your appearance, stay and keep listening and you hope the emotion you feel will disappear. But as hard as you try, your feelings intensify and you can’t stop the tears that are welling-up in your eyes.

Are you familiar with situations similar to this example? If so, try to go back in your mind to one of those similar situations. Now ask yourself, what is it that I have to do to keep myself from bursting into tears? What is the first thing that comes up from what you did, and usually do, to cope with your feelings in these kinds of situations?

We all have developed different mechanisms to suppress unwanted emotions, and this takes on the form of certain rituals or habits. Every person has their own set of rituals and their own specific behavioral pattern to cope with unwanted emotions. Let’s figure out how this works.

The rituals of your friend mechanism

Your friend’s ritual consists of familiar acts and behavior patterns. To understand this better let’s analyze the above example for a moment. Keep in mind that you created these rituals/habits yourself. Once you become aware of these patterns you are also the only one (here comes the good part) that can change them into ones that really serve you!

Let’s do a little exercise:

Go back in your mind to a situation you felt unwanted emotion rise to an uncomfortable level and relive that situation in your mind until you become aware of these feelings again. Now allow this feeling without suppressing them.

  • What do you do with your eyes when you feel the tears welling up?
  • Do you squeeze them tightly or start to blink faster?
  • Do you begin to stare or start looking around, up, down?
  • If so what’s your most helpful detail to focus on?
  • What happens to your breathing?
  • Does it become shallow or deep?
  • Do you hold your breath or start to breathe faster?
  • What do you do with your hands?
  • Do you leave them hanging or make a fist?
  • Do you start to move your hands or play with your clothes or another object?
  • What do you say to yourself when you feel these emotions?
  • Something like: “Not now” or “I feel nothing” or “don’t cry” or “I’m not a baby.”

These are just a few of many rituals and behavior patterns your friend mechanism can use to suppress unwanted feelings. We all created many of these friend rituals and inhibiting beliefs during our life but only very few people are consciously aware of this. As long as you are not aware of it you cannot change it.

The behavior patterns, friend rituals and belief systems to suppress unwanted emotions are typically yours because they are always based on your personal experiences in life. Unfortunately, when these rituals and beliefs are empowered by activated bad clusters, be assured that such belief systems will never serve you. Many people suffer from a whole lot of these limiting beliefs like: “I’m not good enough”, or, “this will never work”, or, “nobody loves me”, etc.

During your life you created these rituals and beliefs and your friend mechanism carries them out to make you feel as comfortable as possible in uncomfortable situations. But to do so it can only use previously installed rituals and beliefs that comforted you before.  Considering the soothing effect of this mechanism it is a really good friend; because it will always lead you as far as possible away from pain.

But this mechanism will be out of balance once activated bad clusters come into the picture. Because you are not consciously aware of the content of bad clusters, you will experience the negative feelings that are carried out in your body once the bad cluster is activated.

These activations can happen any time in any situation. The only thing needed to make that happen are present observations of similar details like colors, objects, words, sounds, smells, facial expressions, touch etc. that are also present in a bad cluster. In other words, even a happy event (like a party) can activate a painful bad cluster in your subconscious.

This creates a problem! Why? Because the activated bad cluster feelings are in no way fitting for the situation you are in right now (like being at a fun party). Now your friend mechanism has to get real creative to “sell” it to yourself why you feel these negative feelings, these “mood swings”.  In this creative process we come up with all kinds of (incorrect) beliefs about why we feel the way we do.

For instance, you are at a gathering and from one moment to the other you’re very nauseous. You try to sit differently and sit more straight, take a sip of water and hope the nausea will go away. If these tricks (rituals) do not work your beliefs start to kick in rapidly. As a true master of deception you come up with the most “reasonably” and “logical” sounding beliefs with only one purpose, to lead you away from the real problem, the painful and nauseating content of the bad cluster.

Your friend mechanism could come up with beliefs like: “It’s definitely the temperature in the room, its way too warm here. I should not have eaten just before I came here. I always get nauseated when I’m nervous. I’m sure these people do not like me here and that makes me feel sick. I think I’m getting the flue,” and the beliefs go on and on.

The purpose of all these beliefs is to convince yourself of what the reason is why you feel nauseated. In reality you comfort yourself with incorrect beliefs that lead you away from the real, but more painful, content of the bad cluster. You think you solved the problem, but in fact you pushed the revealing of the real cause further and further away from the conscious part of your brain.

The only thing what will happen with all these beliefs is cover up why you suddenly really felt the negative feelings in your body. Your body wants to tell you something and you are the only one that can listen to it. But you can only do that after you become aware of how your brain creates these friend mechanisms.

In one of my upcoming blogs I will explain further how these feelings and rituals create sabotaging belief systems. If you want to start right away you can find a much more detailed explanation in the textbook for Progressive Mental Alignment, Desirable Power by Jacob Korthuis.

Once you understand that process it will provide you with the insight how you can influence this process in the most positive way to change your life.

And if you allow me I’m here to help you with that!

Learn about the most powerful subconscious forces behind all of your behaviors and beliefs!

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