How are you feeling today?
I mean, how are you really feeling?
Many of us are quick to answer ‘Great!’ when the reality is not so positive.
Do you ever notice that even if someone feels particularly sad, they often say that they’re ok?
Sadness is an integral part of the human story because, unfortunately, we all experience real sad and painful events at some point in our life. Sadness reminds us that life is an unending journey of highs, lows, and the peace in between. It also reminds us to appreciate the good times.
It’s a powerful emotion that can stop you in your tracks! Sadness can be related to something very specific that, once resolved, will allow you to move on emotionally (like not getting that job you really, really wanted!) but there are other forms of sadness that are much deeper, impactful, and long lasting, like the pain of loosing someone you dearly love.
Then- there is that type of deeply felt sadness that keeps hitting you and can make you feel sick or even guilty.
Have you ever experienced this type of sadness? It seemingly pops up randomly out of nowhere. It’s a wave of melancholy that can hit you at work, home, or anywhere. It can even show up at an otherwise happy occasion. You don’t know where it comes from and because this uncertainty causes an additional negative feeling, you create all kinds of belief systems to explain the sadness. You start to wonder if it’s the weather, or if maybe you’re starting to feel sick, tired, or something else. Can you relate to this type of seemingly random sadness? Have you ever stopped to wonder in those cases, what is really causing it?
In other cases you do know what is causing it. It’s common for some deep sadness to be attached to something that you’ve experienced. You connect that sadness to a specific circumstance immediately. Even just a quick thought about the situation, gets you down.
Can you think of something that evokes deep sadness today? Maybe it’s an impactful childhood event, the loss of someone special, or the thought of a situation or relationship that isn’t quite what you wanted it to be. It could even be something you deeply regret- that still pains you today even though you can’t do anything to change it. It could have happened a long time ago or something that occurred recently.
Whether it’s a random wave of sadness, or a thought of something that always makes your heart ache, its source is deeper than you may even know.
Anguish about a sad event can be a normal process but if it keeps plaguing us in such a way that we can’t function properly or even makes us sick, then something else is definitely going on that needs your attention.
The key to finding out the true cause of the sadness lies in confronting the emotion and allowing it to lead you to its core.
There Is Only One Source
The core is always a bad cluster stored inside your subconscious.
One of my client’s Sarah discovered this in a big way and wanted me to share her story in hopes it will help someone else.
Sarah asked me for help because she was unable to function at work and suffered from a big loss of energy, sadness, and frequent crying fits. During our session she suddenly realized that it all started when her friend told her she broke up with her boyfriend, named Daniel.
As I helped her become aware of the exact moment and details of her friend’s story, she spontaneously brought up the moment her own boyfriend, Danny, broke up with her 6 years ago. The break up was very sudden and unexpected. Completely out of the blue.
She felt intense sadness the moment he ended the relationship. In the days that followed it was hard to sleep and difficult to imagine starting a new relationship. Even worse, she blamed herself and thought that maybe she wasn’t good enough for a long term relationship.
During the session I asked her to go back to that particular moment when Danny broke-up with her and relive that moment in her head.
She went back to the exact moment Danny said he did not want to continue with the relationship. She felt as if she was frozen and her heart started pounding. Her muscles tensed up and then she could literally feel the energy leave her body. She was in complete disbelief. Tears welled up in her eyes. She remembers looking at his brown hair and the white shirt he had on. They were sitting on a gray couch. She had been hunched over holding him as he said the words.
In the breakup situation with Danny she went from the most painful moment to the most painful detail in that moment. During the session she experienced the same feelings she experienced during the break up. Those feelings and focusing on the most painful detail led her into a time in which she was 7 years old. She was with a dog named Daisy.
Daisy was a longtime companion of Sarah’s. She was just 4 years old when she got Daisy as a puppy. They quickly became best pals and were always together. Daisy would sleep in the room with Sarah. At one point Sarah even remembered looking at Daisy’s cute little brown nose as she slept on a chair nearby. She could feel in that moment, the love that she felt for Daisy.
When she was 7 she went to play with Daisy outside. She was playing with a white ball. They went to a normally safe location where cars usually didn’t pass. But suddenly as Daisy ran on to the road, a car, out of the blue, drove past, striking and severely injuring Daisy.
Sarah heard Daisy’s whining and saw her lying on the road. Sarah is standing there as if she is frozen. She can’t seem to move, her heart is pounding like crazy, her muscles tense up and she feels the energy literally leaving her body. They rushed Daisy to the vet.
Sarah remembers being hunched over, holding Daisy as the dog lay on a stainless steel bed whimpering and huddled. Sarah is petting her and hoping all will be ok and that they can play together again as they always have. But than the worst thing happened to little Sarah. The veterinarian came to her and told her that because of the amount of injuries, there was nothing they could do for Daisy. The doctor told her that Daisy had to be put down. Sarah’s world collapsed. She started to feel that this was her fault. She was crying intensely, almost as if her lungs were going to come out of her while she was holding her best friend and buddy Daisy in her arms.
Even though she had a conscious recollection of this event, she didn’t remember the most traumatic part- which, for her, happened to be putting Daisy to sleep. That is the moment the bad cluster formed, processing all information from the moment, incorrectly. The negative physiology she experienced now connected with all of the details from that moment.
Discover The Ingredients
The bad cluster is filled with ingredients from all of the things Sarah processed that day. Anything that triggers the bad cluster will evoke similar feelings from that day in Sarah. The breakup situation with Danny contained so much similarity with Daisy’s death that the bad cluster became active BIG TIME. Here are some of them:
|· Danny’s White Shirt
· Danny’s brown hair
· Gray Couch
· Sarah hunched over holding Danny
· Phonetic sounds of Danny’s name
· The break up came ‘out of the blue’
· She Froze
· Heart Pounding
· Muscles Tense Up
· Feels Energy Leaving Her Body
· Tears welled up
· Felt like it was her fault
|· Daisy’s White Ball
· Daisy’s brown nose in her memory
· Stainless Steel Table at Vet
· Hunched over holding Betty
· Similar to sound of Daisy’s
· The car hit Daisy out of the blue
· Felt frozen when car hit
· Heart Pounding
· Muscle Tense Up
· Felt the energy leaving her body
· Felt as if it was her fault
Even after the break up, the bad cluster remained active by “simple” things such as a picture of Daisy next to Sarah’s bed, someone asking her about Danny, or friends describing their own relationships or breakups. All of these things cause deep sadness in Sarah.
There was an overload of factors in the break up that ACTIVATED the bad cluster. That activation evoked powerful emotions in Sarah during the break up. Similar to the emotions she felt as a 7 year old with Daisy. These emotions consumed her every time her bad cluster was triggered.
Now, anything related to the break up, or the relationship will trigger the activated bad cluster in Sarah, evoking deep emotion.
Release The Sadness Forever
Discovering the bad cluster in our session released the lingering sadness in Sarah that was popping up out of nowhere. Before this session she had no idea that these feelings originated in the events of the break-up with Danny and the loss of her beloved dog Daisy.
Once the bad cluster was identified and her subconscious instantly made all the proper connections, the negative physiology was permanently removed from the bad cluster and Sarah felt free. The sadness that made her feel tired all the time and made her feel sick was gone after the session. Once she made the proper connections she felt immediate relief.
Maybe you are wondering how Sarah is doing right now. I’m so happy to tell you that she is doing great!
Today she is happier then ever and in a new relationship. Though she remembers the event as a sad time, she doesn’t have the same negative emotions pop up in the present every time she thinks about it.
That’s the really beauty in the removal of bad clusters.
Not only will you discover what really causes the intense and lingering sadness but you’ll also eliminate its negative assault on your present life. Once a bad cluster is gone, it can never come up again.
So next time you feel sad, please stop and think about when the emotions started. What exactly triggered it? When negative emotions are lingering and throw you out of balance then specific sensory observations in your environment most likely activated a bad clusters from your past. This means that your feelings of sadness are always real and always have a real cause but in many cases just not the cause you thought.
This type of self-discovery is what will lead you to a more peaceful existence and many more smiles!
Don’t just feel great. Feel FREE. FOREVER 🙂