There has been a lot of talk about bullying lately – and with good reason. Bullying is a traumatic experience that deeply marks victims and impacts every aspect of their life, long after the harassment ends. In America alone, 28 percent of kids are victims of bullying throughout the school year. Now, new platforms of victimization offered by the digital age means bullies can continue their harassment via text, email, YouTube and social media. In fact, according to latest stats on cyber bullying, more than 50 percent of teens say theyâve witnessed online bullying of classmates and friends online. This powerful public platform works to compound the feelings of embarrassment, fear and shame associated with bullying and creates new and complex challenges for individuals and groups looking to help victims and put an end to this type of harassment.
Bullies Leave Invisible Scars
To fully grasp the serious impact of bullying on victims, I wanted to share Danielleâs story. She takes us back to a time when she was 11 years old. For Danielle, getting ready for school stirs up thoughts that instantly make her panic. She thinks about the hallways packed with other students, her heavy books falling to the floor, the sound of the bell between classes. She thinks about the changing room in gym where other girls whisper mean things about her skinny frame and frail appearance. She thinks about sitting by herself in the lunchroom and the picture of kids whispering and laughing. These thoughts put her stomach in knots and her hands get all sweaty. Her breathing becomes heavier. She is afraid.
These images make Danielle anxious because they remind her of the bullying that she endures daily. Children laughing at her, saying mean things as they walk behind her in the hallways, and playing mean tricks on her have become frequent occurrences. Sheâs even been pushed and spit on. To make matters worse, she feels alone and like she canât tell anyone. She fears that if she tells the teachers, sheâll be labeled a âtattle taleâ causing worse bullying. She worries about her parents coming to school and making a scene and embarrassing her.
She is also concerned about âdisappointingâ her parents who have an image of her as confident, happy and popular. Because the truth is, she doesnât feel confident, happy or popular. The bullying is making her feel horrible about herself. Sheâs anxious about saying and doing all the âwrongâ things that will make her a âtarget.â It seems to her that no matter what she says or does, sheâll be a target for bullies.
Every day she feels like crying but fears more teasing so she pushes down her feelings and continues with her day. All of it combines to create an intense mix of shame, embarrassment, self-hatred, anger, sadness and loneliness. Itâs impacting her school work and worse, her joy and self-image.
Bullies Attack Belief
She started to believe that who she really is, makes her a target for bullies and begins to create the belief system that she needs to be someone else. She begins to pay closer attention to how âpopularâ kids dress, act, walk and talk. She âlearnedâ how to play this part â the part of a ânormalâ girl.
So, at the end of the school year, when she moves with her family to a different city, she sees it as an opportunity for a ânewâ start and vows to herself that she will never be bullied again. Playing this part of a ânormalâ girl starts to pay off, at least for a while. She begins making lots of friends and getting invited to birthday parties and other special events. She starts to see the ârewardsâ of playing the part and feels like her problem (being bullied) has been solved.
This belief that playing the part is better than being herself, became deeply embedded in her subconscious as a response to the trauma of bullying (Itâs interesting that we form our beliefs systems to convince ourselves that it will keep us away from immediate harm). Her belief systems become such a part of her identity that the act of ârole playingâ becomes a very natural, automatic behavior that she does not consciously think about.
Bullies disappear. The pain stays.
As she gets older and into college she makes lots of friends and remains popular but continues to battle with bouts of depression, anxiety and insecurity. She also struggles with the authenticity of her friendships and wonders why she never feels like she can be totally âherselfâ with even her closest friends. These overwhelming negative feelings consume her even during otherwise happy moments.
In adulthood even with a great job, family and group of friends she still struggles with these powerful emotions and wonders why? She even starts to doubt her present life circumstances. Perhaps sheâs suffering from early signs of depression or maybe she needs a different group of friends around her? Perhaps itâs time for a career change?
Danielle isnât quite sure whatâs wrong but she becomes determined to do away with this âdistractionâ as soon as she can so she can âenjoyâ her life. She begins to seek âtraditionalâ forms of assistance like counseling, meditation and medication â but none of it solves the issue permanently.
Itâs because none of these forms of âhelpâ address the root source of her emotional challenges. We now know that to address the problem we have to approach the subconscious, where every experience weâve ever had is stored, in an effective way in order to transform their negative effects on our present life. Every single piece of data absorbed through our senses is coded with a particular feeling that was present at the moment you stored this information. Whenever we come across a similar piece of data in our present environment, we instantly experience that same feeling in our body. This is how our subconscious allows us to process and confront the world in front of us.
Those pieces of data with the most powerfully negative feelings impact us even more intensely. So when Danielle was bullied, during the periods of the most traumatic attacks, which caused her to feel an extreme loss of control, her body entered a heightened survival mode. In that state, everything her senses absorbed (The sound of the school bell, the color of her books, crowds of children passing in the hallway, the sound of laughter) was processed with that extremely negative, anxious feeling combined with sweating, increased heartbeat and tensed muscles. This negativity is activated by a number of triggers in Danielleâs present environment. ANYTHING that resembles this powerful data, impacts her immediately.
So what Danielle experienced so many years ago, is still impacting her today in very powerful ways. Itâs even impacted her belief systems about her self-worth, image, social interaction and friendships which has driven every aspect of her life.
When the pain disappears, clarity moves in.
When Danielle directly addresses this data, called bad clusters, it will instantly free her of the physical symptoms which she labeled as depression, anxiety, and insecurity. Even more amazing is that those self-sabotaging belief systems that kept her stuck in superficial friendships and living a life for others- totally transformed. She feels the freedom to be herself totally and she begins to live the life that is meant for her unique personality. Revealing and re-processing this data in a proper way will reveal the root source of emotional challenges, removing them permanently and offering permanent transformation, clarity and peace of mind.
Itâs a process that will end the pain from the past, once and for all.
Research by the Dutch Government
Whatâs really amazing about this unique technique is that it doesnât just address the pain of victims. It also addresses the bullies themselves by targeting the emotional root source of the behavior. Itâs a successful two-pronged approach thatâs offered astonishing results. In one key case, the Dutch government funded a pilot program which addressed bullying using Progressive Mental Alignment with mind blowing results- bullying decreased by 75% overall. For the Dutch readers visit this link. The study, powerfully highlights how the Progressive Mental Alignment technique addresses and improves behavior and emotional challenges on a deep subconscious level.
Why thereâs a Global Benefit
Itâs the type of solution that reaches and removes the root source of the problem â permanently. Some popular anti-bullying campaigns focus on shedding light on the greater impact of bullying while encouraging victims and bystanders to report incidents of harassment. While these efforts can help shed light on the seriousness of bullying, they donât reach the core of the crises.
Itâs time for a powerful solution that offers permanent healing for victims AND bullies. Every emotion and behavior has a past. Pinpointing the most powerful pieces from the past that drive our thoughts, actions and pain will offer effortless peace, boundless possibilities and powerful permanent solutions to societyâs greatest problems.
Join me on the amazing journey towards global peace today!