When you woke up this morning, were you all relaxed and able to take your time to start your day? Or did it take you some time to wake up; snoozing a little bit until you slowly felt your whole body energize?
Or perhaps you woke up and INSTANTLY, your mind filled with your to-do list. If so, what does it feel like, knowing there is a huge list of responsibilities awaiting you? Does it ‘drive’ you to conquer the day? I’m familiar with those types of mornings in which I open my eyes, instantly see my calendar in my head with all my appointments and get up running at full speed 🙂
Some may view this behavior as being highly driven…but driven by what, exactly?
“Drive” in many ways, is glorified and usually described as a respectable quality. Society doesn’t really care WHAT drives you so long as it keeps you going! But what drives you is critical to your happiness and health. Let’s look at an example.
What drives you, directs you
You may know someone who is like this or might even recognize these qualities in yourself.
Danielle always cares for others. Whenever you reach out to her, she is always there for you. She’s always willing to put her life on hold just to serve someone else. Everything else always seems more important than her own commitments. For some ‘reason’ she just can’t say ‘no’ and feels responsible for others in a big way. For some people this feeling is so strong, that they don’t even feel the right to be happy if certain family members or friends aren’t happy. So they focus all of their energy on trying to help this person as quickly as possible. Some may say Danielle is ‘driven’ by helping others but how is this drive helping or hurting her?
Have you ever experienced putting a lot of time in someone who shows no sign of appreciation? I hear it often, and have experienced it myself many times. Somebody has a problem, calls you in a panic, asks for your help and….there you go again, putting everything on hold to help them however you can. You do everything possible to help them and even find yourself worrying about them!
But here’s the “not so great” thing that sometimes happens. Being worried about that person, trying to help and find solutions to “fix” the situation. YOU call that person ask how he/she is doing and what flabbergasts you the most is that the other person sounds happy and relieved because the problem they contacted you about was already solved an hour after they called you! Aaargghhhh!! No, they did not find the time to call you with the “good” news. Suddenly they “forgot” your phone number. You were good enough to hear their hopeless stories and cries for help but when it’s all good, you are not in the picture anymore. Can you relate?
Dissect the details
Think about the last time you immersed yourself in helping someone else which didn’t turn out well for you. Take a moment to remember a particular experience.
Put yourself in that situation again, in your mind. Close your eyes and relive it again. Which particular detail pops out immediately? It could be a person, a word, a color or a sound- anything. When you focus on that specific detail what do you feel in your body and where do you feel it? Is there for instance: heaviness, heat, nausea, tightness, or any other feeling? Is it in your chest, head, stomach or somewhere else? Quiet your thoughts and let your subconscious come up with whatever image it wants. Trust what you see and pay attention to what you feel.
These images and feelings are not random; in fact they are part of you! They belong to a catalog of life experiences stored in your subconscious. The details from the most emotionally painful events (many of which you don’t even consciously remember- but your body does) build the beliefs that drive your life. Beliefs built upon powerful negative emotions do not serve you and push you to repeat behavior that sabotages your happiness!
Redirect your drive
A belief that you have to help other people and that you are responsible for someone else’s happiness originates from these deeply hidden pieces of powerful negative emotions in our subconscious- called bad clusters.
When you’re driven by your deeper purpose you’ll achieve happiness, health, success and love effortlessly and naturally. But that purpose is often clouded by the pain from the life experience that form our perspective. Our deepest negative emotions, from subconscious bad clusters, blocks your path towards your purpose and causes unhealthy behaviors and beliefs.
When you break through the pain you open the path to a life filled in passion and purpose!
Discover what drives you and change the direction of your journey towards joy!