Bullying remains a dark reality for hundreds of people. It doesn’t just impact the 6 out of 10 students who say they are victims of bullying on a daily basis but also a growing number of adults in the workplace. Technology has extended the reach of bullying beyond the confined spaces of school and work into a global arena of 24 hour online accessibility. Bullies can use sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to inflict powerful and personal harm on victims.
The emotional damage is clear, impacting important aspects of life even years after the bullying ends. Despite the growing interest and concern, bullying has remained a serious epidemic with no solid solution in sight- until now.
New science uncovers the root cause of bullying behavior and reveals how deeply victims are effected on a subconscious level. It’s insight that offers a deeper look at the powerful root cause of our emotional pain, behavior and beliefs and traces a road map towards the ultimate solution.
It begins by exploring the amazing inner workings of the subconscious brain and to do that we have to picture ourselves there. We’ll use Ricky’s story as an example:
1 Picture with a million broken pieces
Ricky stands in front of his locker early in the morning. There are many things happening around him; many students talking, laughing, and yelling as they walk past him, teachers speaking to each other. The sounds of locker doors closing and opening. The sound of the school buses shrieking as they slow down to approach the front of the school. The different colors of the books in front of him, how heavy they are. All of these details are pieces of data this his subconscious is processing (it processes a million times more information than the conscious brain is even aware of!) This data, which enters through his senses, is processed with specific emotion based on importance. (Like, for example, Ricky understands that the sound of the bell is pretty important if he wants to get to his first class on time!)
The brain always processes information this way- no matter what. So what happens if Ricky is standing there subconsciously processing all of this information around him and all of a sudden he gets pushed to the ground? He goes into instant panic mode. He falls to the ground and his books drop beside him. Another kid who is really tall, with dark curly hair and brown eyes is wearing a striped blue shirt and is standing above him, teasing him. Ricky sees his sharp chin and dimples. The bully is pointing at him with his finger, his voice is very deep and his feet are tapping as he laughs loudly before walking away. The bully has a very distinct walk that Ricky subconsciously notes as he’s still on the ground. In that moment, Ricky felt a huge loss of control and fear. He froze in his panic and while HE froze, his brain sure didn’t. His brain continued to process all of those little details about the bully along with everything else that was going on around him in that hallway. Even though HE wasn’t focused on those things, his subconscious was. But during those moments, all of the data was processed with panic and fear. So all of those details that he absorbed about the bully and everything around him, was processed, but not the correct and healthy way. It is bad data. It’s why we call this data, bad clusters.
Bullying: The pain of a lifetime
Many years after the bullying is over, Ricky is talking to a tall co-worker with a deep voice who has dark curly hair and is wearing a striped blue shirt, who is holding a stack of different colored books. Ricky starts to feel panicked but is not sure why (He begins to think that perhaps he ate the wrong thing this morning, or maybe he’s dehydrated, maybe it’s just too hot in here?). All he knows is that he wants to get away from that situation- and quick! Later, Ricky decides that he doesn’t like this person because he ‘rubs’ him the wrong way.
What’s really happening is that those little details associated with the co-worker triggered an ‘activation’ of those bad clusters which were processed incorrectly during that bullying episode years ago. The activation of bad clusters is the number 1 cause of problems such as depression, insecurity, anxiety and rage and more.
But the impact of bad clusters doesn’t end there! They also affect our beliefs about ourselves and the world and our behaviors.
That bullying episode caused Ricky to develop an incorrect belief that did not serve him at all. He began to believe that who he was as a person made him a target for bullying and therefore he must become someone else. For years, Ricky felt as if he had to play a part and had trouble being himself with most people.
Victims of traumatic bullying can develop all sorts of beliefs and behaviors as a response to the emotional pain. These beliefs drive the way they approach certain aspects of their life and how they view others. It’s a complicated consequence of bullying that develops to push them away from the real root source of their emotional pain- bad clusters.
Don’t push away the pain. Transform it.
Most people don’t realize the complexity with which the subconscious stores and then activates data, throughout their life. These activations determine their beliefs and actions. When this data is wrongly stored- it creates beliefs and behaviors detrimental to your growth, health and happiness.
This makes internet bullying a prime platform for an over activation of pain from previous harassment. While you can’t control the behavior of this type of emotional attack, you CAN change the way it impacts you.
By consciously addressing bad clusters, the data is instantly reprocessed correctly (so that, for instance in Ricky’s case, someone with dark curly hair doesn’t activate panic!). This process instantly erases the associated negativity, immediately offering peace, confidence and clarity while improving behaviors and transforming beliefs to YOUR benefit!
What’s amazing about this “re-coding” process, is that it doesn’t just help victims of bullying, it helps the bully by addressing the root source of the bullying behavior- which is usually based in pain and trauma of their own.
Each of us reacts to pain very differently. The same pain that might make someone close off might make someone else a bully as a reaction to their own discomfort or fear.
To truly put a stop to bullying and heal victims permanently, we have to face the pain that drives us all.
Most people are not aware how powerful the ripple effect can be and how it’s causing self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs that impact every single aspect of life. It often creates a weight carried throughout life, which steals energy and disrupts purpose. Don’t allow bullies from the past to drive your behavior and health today.
Progressive Mental Alignment pinpoints and transforms the pieces of pain with most powerful impact, allowing victims to take back the control of their life and freeing bullies from the behavior based on a hurtful past.
Control your own life from a clear perspective, without emotional pain, and settle into the life you were always meant to have!
Are you curious how your brain is functioning and want to free yourself of your psychological and psychosomatic complaints? Read all you need to know in Desirable Power
I would like to make you aware of an amazing aspect of your brain using the following example:
You are driving your car early in the morning. You have to run some errands and visit a store, which is about 45 minutes from your house. While driving, you see the sun come up. It offers a warm and peaceful feeling. Your mind plunges in thoughts of last evening when you had some friends over for dinner. You relive the nice conversation you had with your friends about plans for their upcoming vacation to Europe. She wants you to come along with her to spend some time together. You’ve always wanted to go to Europe – especially Italy! Besides the cultural aspect, which fascinates you, the delicious food you’d heard so much about is a big plus too:). While driving, you weigh the pros and cons and along the way you get more and more excited about the trip to Europe. And then, suddenly, you’ve arrived at the store!
Maybe you’re thinking, ‘girl where is this story going?’
Okay here it is :).
I’m sure, somehow, you can relate to the story above. So here’s my question for you. While you were thinking about all kinds of things, were you fully aware of what was happening on the road? Were you fully paying attention to all the other cars and upcoming left and right turns OR did you JUST drive and arrive perfectly without missing a light, a cross road or a stop sign? While you were day dreaming about your visit to the Grand Canal in Venice Italy, who was driving the car?
The subconscious always has your back!
In these types of situations you function on a sort of ‘autopilot’ in which you let your subconscious lead the way. You were able to get to your destination- which you’ve done dozens of times before, because of the millions of pieces of information and data you already stored in your subconscious from previous experiences! This data makes up the comparison materiel your subconscious uses to process and address every new moment.
Do you remember when you first got your driver’s license? Think back to that time for a moment. For many of us, there was excitement the moment we passed that test and posed for the very first ID picture!
That excitement quickly turned to nervousness and focus the first time you sat behind the wheel. On the road, you were so focused, that it was even hard to have a conversation because you were so concentrated on every line on the street, every sign, every turn signal and every car on the road- all while trying to remember all of the laws and information you learned during your practice and tests. Everything that your senses perceived during this first drive became part of your comparison materiel in your subconscious. The more you drove, the more and more confident you became- until one day you reached the point where you could daydream, have a conversation with your passenger or speak on the phone and STILL arrive to your destination!
Can you imagine having to figure out how to drive and having to re-learn every state law every time you got in the car? How frustrating would that be? And pretty scary too! I for one, would never drive if that was the case!! On the other hand, this would make a great “excuse” for being late at an appointment 😉
Thanks to all of the information stored in your subconscious, you don’t have to re-start every time! There are still a lot of NEW things happening on the road that you should remain aware of while driving at all times. But you’re able to better focus on those NEW and random occurrences because you don’t have to worry about re-learning all of the OLD things.
That’s the amazing power and ability of the brain!
The routine makes it easy, YOU make it AWESOME
The subconscious doesn’t just store lessons, it also stores experiences – in fact, it stores EVERY experience you’ve ever had.
It’s why day-to-day activities can become such a routine. As soon as the alarm clock goes off, ‘autopilot’ turns on. Among other things, you jump in the shower, get dressed, brush your hair and jump into the car the same way, day after day. Have you ever started your morning routine and then half way through you realize- WAIT! I’m off today! Or, WAIT! I’m on vacation! You came to this (AMAZING) realization after ‘waking up’ from autopilot mode- and then all of a sudden you start getting super excited about all of the fun plans ahead of you :).
Sabotaging beliefs arising from your subconscious
Our subconscious does not just control and regulate our behavior patterns. It also defines our thinking, belief systems and emotions every second of our lives. This has an enormous impact on your happiness, health, success and relationships.
Have you ever jumped to a conclusion (belief) about someone’s personality based on how they look? Is there a specific habit that is difficult to stop no matter how hard you try? Do you feel a certain way about roller coasters or airplanes or pools? Do you have a specific belief about who you are or what you can or can’t do?
All of these thinking patterns, beliefs and feelings are ‘impulses’ driven by data from your previously stored subconscious comparison materiel.
Unfortunately not all that data is positive. Our subconscious contains also very powerfully negative data that has the most damaging impact on your life and is the root cause of poor health, emotional imbalance, behavioral problems, and more.
These powerful pieces of data, known as bad clusters impede your personal growth, happiness and health in enormous ways. The way your subconscious regulates your routines makes life ‘easier’ in many ways, but it can also make life harder when it’s driven by bad clusters.
Take back the wheel!
The good news is that you have the ultimate power over your life and can ‘flip the switch’ from autopilot to ‘Full control’ any time you want.
This allows you to observe your own behavior and beliefs from a higher perspective and opens the door to true healing which means removing the bad clusters that cause so much trouble!
The result is complete and total freedom. Doesn’t that sound amazing? I can help you ‘flip the switch’ and wake up to the freshness of each new moment and the amazing possibilities that life has to offer!
The truth is life is an adventure. It’s time to jump in. 🙂
Learn how to rise above your mind’s most powerful impulses to heal yourself and improve your life!
Progressive Mental Alignment. When I first heard about this method, I had no idea how much my life was about to change. It ended up being the most important journey of my life. The more I learned, the more I discovered the answers to some of the biggest questions I had about myself and about the world around me. Progressive Mental Alignment opened the curtain to the real causes of my physical and emotional pain, my bad habits that wouldn’t go away no matter what I did, and my thoughts which were preventing me from believing in myself and from reaching my dreams. It’s the single most important discovery I made in my life because it really became the beginning of a new life- the life I always dreamed of.
It’s why I get so excited about sharing everything I know about Progressive Mental Alignment with as many people as possible! I know that the Progressive Mental Alignment tools can do for you what they did for me. No matter your struggle, Progressive Mental Alignment can help you map out the solution that best fits you. Because Progressive Mental Alignment has so much to offer, it can be hard to know where to start! So I decided to compile a list of what makes Progressive Mental Alignment so special. It’s an introduction to some of the greatest gifts offered by this revolutionary science designed to offer permanent transformations in your health and happiness!
Knowledge is the first step. If you are ready to take the first step into inner freedom here’s what you should know.
Progressive Mental Alignment shows you who you really are
Many of us talk about finding ourselves but only Progressive Mental Alignment shows us how. Meaningful life change begins with knowing yourself and Progressive Mental Alignment does that by opening the door to self-discovery like no other technique can. It helps you separate what you think from what you’ve always known deep down; the inner truth of your strength, beauty, talent and power. You’ll dig deep to experience the core of reality, and honestly it will amaze you-YOU will amaze you!
Progressive Mental Alignment links all of your struggles to ONE source.
Have you ever felt a random wave of sadness, self-doubt, frustration, or anger? Is there a situation or ship that makes you emotional whenever you think about it? Do you know someone who suffers from random mood swings? Are you or someone you know impacted by a disease or physical ailment with no obvious cause? Is there a bad habit you’ve tried to change permanently but no matter what you try, you just can’t?
Progressive Mental Alignment shows us how bad clusters are the reason for all of these and other issues while providing you the tools to solve them. All human beings have bad clusters. They form throughout your life, starting in infancy! These wrongly processed pieces of information are stored in your subconscious and interlinked with the most intense feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and all other sorts of negative emotions you felt during the bad cluster event. These feelings arise within you whenever the bad cluster is activated by triggers in your environment. This is why bad clusters greatly impact our daily moods, decisions, actions, behaviors, and overall health.
Progressive Mental Alignment reveals the powerful force behind your thoughts and feelings
We all have beliefs about ourselves, the world, how things are or perhaps should be. Progressive Mental Alignment shows us that these thoughts are not random. They arise from two subconscious programs.
The first one is the program that uses all the sensory data you’ve collected during your entire life, or in other words, everything you ever learned and experienced. The second program is the so called friend mechanism. It’s the strongest force in our bodies! It’s a genetic ‘body guard’ powered to drive us away from pain. It does this by generating thoughts and beliefs that guide us in less painful directions. It’s an amazing force responsible for your daily behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs about yourself and others!
Because bad clusters are loaded with painful feelings, the friend mechanism is always working extra hard to keep us far away from discovering their content. The energy used for this mission drains us of important vitality and health. Only the Progressive Mental Alignment method can show you how to recognize the actions of your friend mechanism and how to cooperate with it to reveal the content of the bad clusters- the hidden root cause of all behavioral, emotional, and physical problems.
Progressive Mental Alignment puts YOU in the driver’s seat
The Progressive Mental Alignment technique allows you the option to work on yourself in the comfort of your own home! The technique is designed to show you how to understand the language of your own subconscious. There is no diagnosis, no counseling, advice, or conclusions offered. In fact, it is not necessary. It encourages you to simply stop and listen to your subconscious. All of the answers and solutions to your problems are already stored there. This places the power of transformation and healing in your own hands! When the content of a bad cluster is revealed, its negative and unhealthy power will instantly be replaced by positive energy that will empower you to reach your goals effortlessly.
Progressive Mental Alignment creates permanent change. Really!
Once you reveal a bad cluster, the details within it are re-processed correctly and all painful feelings associated with it dissolve instantly and permanently! It is an amazing process! Once you turn a bad cluster into a regular, correctly processed and coded cluster it will never go back to ‘bad’. No repetition is needed and any emotional or physical challenges related to this bad cluster will be gone-forever.
Progressive Mental Alignment is really easy
Progressive Mental Alignment doesn’t require a degree, a certain amount of experience, or a long drawn out process. It just takes a curious mind and some quiet time! With so many ways to get acquainted with the Progressive Mental Alignment technique, you’re sure to find the tools that fit right into your life style. Start by keeping up with this blog or reading one of the many books written about Progressive Mental Alignment! If you prefer, you can learn through the Home Study Kit or via one of our free online educational videos. For a more interactive experience you can attend one of the many Progressive Mental Alignment seminars held several times a year or participate in a live Progressive Mental Alignment session in person or via Skype. It’s an easy to master technique that you can use for yourself and your loved ones. Trust me; the minute you experience this you’ll want to know more simply because you’ll recognize that this is how your brain works and that it will give you all of the answers and solutions you need. Once you got the feel of it you’ll want to share it with everyone just like I do!
Begin Forever Today
Learn more about this revolutionary technique used to untangle the complex connections of our subconscious brain so that you experience new levels of self-discovery, health, and happiness. Unlock the deeply buried vaults of pain inside your subconscious so they don’t weigh you down ever again. Break through subconscious barriers that prevent you from quitting bad habits, changing negative behaviors, healing physical ailments, and transforming self sabotaging thoughts.
Eliminate these roadblocks from your journey so you experience a smooth ride to the life you’ve always imagined. All you have to do is make the right decision. You are the only person who can do this. The life you’ve always imagined can be yours. I know you can do it because I did!
Join me in my quest to share the greatest vehicle for healing the world has ever seen.
Jump in. You’re in for the thrill of a lifetime!
Are you curious how your brain is functioning and want to free yourself of your psychological and psychosomatic complaints? Read all you need to know in Desirable Power
It is the Dalai Lama who asserts “To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.” Maybe it’s because we can’t truly change the world until we change ourselves. It’s certainly a popular concept and one alluded to in songs, poems, and by many of the world’s greatest leaders throughout history. Somehow, we’ve always understood that our effort to improve ourselves is one of the most important ways we can contribute to global healing. But the question has always been how?
Change is much easier to plan than to execute. It’s because change is uncomfortable, confusing, challenging, never ending and often seemingly impossible. Our past and our daily experiences help frame our behavior and our beliefs and no human is devoid of the imperfections, bad habits, and toxic thought patterns picked up along the way. It’s a lifetime of baggage not easily disposed of.
Today science is showing us that change may not be as difficult as once believed. Personal growth is possible at a cellular level and the power of transformation is all in our hands. One modern scientific idea, called Progressive Mental Alignment, shows us that the roadmap to a healthier happier life begins with understanding the basic functions of our brains and the process by which information is stored.
Awareness is key.
In a webinar hosted by founder and neuroscientist, Jacob Korthuis, the scientifically grounded Progressive Mental Alignment technique is introduced as our time’s most powerful vehicle on the road to positive transformation.
The technique is based upon correcting bad clusters that form in our brain during significantly negative life events that activate an emergency response in our bodies.
During this emergency state, the brain does not process information per usual, instead focusing all energy on survival. As a result, anything picked up by our senses during the negative event is processed abnormally and attached to the negative feelings associated with the incident. A smell, a sound, a color or anything processed by our brain during this experience becomes a source of negativity.
The Progressive Mental Alignment technique allows us to subconsciously identify and remove these bad clusters, leaving us more energetic, enlightened, and exhilarated. It’s a permanent change and a significant step in the direction of total transformation.
The fact that as much as 75 percent of all physical and emotional ailments are caused by bad clusters makes this a significantly important milestone in self-awareness and quality of life issues.
The technique, created for accessibility and use on an individual level really places the power of change in each of our hands. It’s real world transformation, one bad cluster at a time.
Welcome into the New Year. If you allow me I’ll provide you with new insight and tools that make it easy to create positive changes in your life.
Become the new you, become all you can be!
Take an interactive journey into the core of your subconscious with Progressive Mental Alignment Founder Jacob Korthuis!
What do you experience in your body when you look at this picture above?
As a chocolate lover myself, I feel water in my mouth and a smile appears just thinking how it would feel to take a huge bite in this delicious looking cupcake. I almost feel the chocolate in my mouth and hear the crisping of the chunks of chocolate. Did I mention the gooey caramel inside the cupcake? MMMM the urge to have one grows by the minute. The growling sounds of my stomach encourage me even more to jump in the car and get one right now! And sure, if you don’t like chocolate at all, you will have a total different reaction in your body but that is what I just felt.
Have you ever asked yourself how it’s possible that by just seeing a picture (like this cupcake) your body reacts this way?
Your body responds this way because your brain connects the visual image of the cupcake with previously stored experiences of eating chocolate, cup cakes, caramel, etc.
These previously stored experiences do not only contain images of chocolate, cupcake, caramel, etc., but also the feelings that created the physical response when you actually ate these things.
By activating these images in your subconscious database, it also activates the feelings (physiological commands) that are connected to it. This is causing physical reactions like water in your mouth and other related feelings that you experience when you look at the picture of the cupcake. You have no control over these physical responses because it is your subconscious brain who causes this by executing the physiological commands that are attached to the activated cupcake images of the past. Your subconscious does not think or feel. It works like a stimulus response “machine,” comparable to your computer.
Your physical responses after seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting or touching something are primarily caused by activated similar observations and experiences in the past that are stored in your subconscious brain. Your body will respond instantly and you have absolutely no control over it. It is based on strict rules of how the subconscious works and it will never deviate from those rules. These rules of processing sensory input and activating connected emotions counts for everything that you see, hear, smell, taste or touch.
And yes, these rules also apply on how you perceive other people. Your brain will automatically compare every little detail about them with already existing similar comparison material in your subconscious.
Your subconscious is processing (on average) a million times more sensory data than you will ever become aware of in the conscious part of your brain. It will not just compare the overall image of another person, but every little detail like facial expressions, the sound of their voice, words they speak, how they move, details of their face like mouth, eyes, eyebrows, and much, much more.
Out of an amazing amount of activated subconscious comparison material, your subconscious will select the most important images and executes the attached feelings.
Are you familiar with the idea that just by seeing a person you immediately have an opinion about them? This is just a brief explanation of why we like or dislike certain people without exactly knowing why.
We have five external senses that play a role in how we interpreted and feel about what we perceive, but let us focus today on just one of our senses – on what we see through our eyes. Let’s do a little fun exercise to explore the power of your own subconscious:
I want to invite you to look at each of these pictures. Do not just glance at the picture but keep looking at the same picture until you become aware of how your body responds to this picture.
- Become aware of what you feel in your body.
- Where do you feel something in your body?
- What is it exactly what you feel there?
Once you become aware of how your body responds, go to the next picture and become aware of how that picture makes you feel (Where and what). Okay, lets get started and have some fun!
P.S. Also become aware of the facial expression that you make right now just by looking at this picture. I’m not a fan of lemons myself so if you have that too, I’m sure you can picture my expression 😉
Did you feel the differences in feelings between one picture and the other? Some people feel this very clearly and some hardly feel anything. This is not primarily because they are genetically different. There is another reason why some people feel a lot and others almost “nothing.” But about that later in another blog. I hope you enjoyed doing this little exercise with me. For now I’m still fixated on the cupcake so I’m hopping in my car and getting myself a treat! 🙂
Share in the collective experience of instant growth and clarity
In one of my previous blogs I promised we would talk more about how our friend mechanism creates misleading belief systems when bad clusters are activated in our brain.
I’m referring here to those beliefs that interfere with reaching your goals. You clearly feel you can reach your goal, but somehow it never happens quite the way you imagined it because there seems to be always be something else that hinders you in your process in making it happen.
By knowing that these sabotaging processes are created in your subconscious brain and understanding how these mechanisms work, you will get the insight on how to change that. This will not only stop the sabotaging interference, but will also provide you with the tools you’ll need to reach your goals even faster.
When it comes to our feelings, we are true masters of lying and deceiving ourselves with ‘great’ belief systems. But because this is all prepared in our subconscious we are not automatically aware of it. It is not a conscious process of weighing every pro and con. It feels like it “just happens” and before you know it, you say or do something that is sabotaging your goal-oriented process.
In many of these cases you ask yourself later on: “Why didn’t I say no?” or, ”Why in the world did I make that decision?” Do you recognize this kind of scenario? And the most remarkable part of this is that you “believe” why you said yes and why you made that decision because it seemed so “logical” and genuinely was the best thing to do at that time.
The real reason why you’ve created these sabotaging beliefs that felt so right at that moment lies within activated bad clusters. The joint venture of your bad clusters and the protecting interference of your friend mechanism form a very dangerous time bomb of interference. And who wants to walk around with a time bomb in their body if there is an easy solution to defuse it?
In order to transform this mechanism and conquer its negative effect, you will first have to identify it.
And like I said in my previous blog you will be your own Sherlock Holmes, and will discover how to reach your goals effortlessly and on top of that, will discover a lot of “precious diamonds of energy” that just are dormant in your brain, just waiting to get discovered.
When the sensory details you observe now and in the future are also present in a bad cluster, these details will activate the bad cluster. As a result, you will feel the same negative feelings in your body as during the bad cluster experience from your past.
These negative feelings will activate your friend mechanism. This mechanism comes into play whenever unpleasant or unwanted feelings come up. The way it reacts is controlled by how you programmed this mechanism during the original bad cluster situation. So in a way, your friend simply obeys what you’ve taught it in the past.
We program our friend mechanism to react in two specific ways:
1. To create behavioral rituals
2. To create misleading beliefs
Imagine yourself at a party where your friends invited a lot of people you didn’t know. Suddenly one of the guests asks you something that activates a painful memory for you. It is a topic that you typically try to avoid because every time this topic crosses your mind you feel overwhelmed with negative emotions.
The person who brought up this topic obviously doesn’t get the message by your avoidance of answers and body language (how annoying is that….) and keeps talking and addressing the topic. You feel the urge to react in a more direct way because you really don’t want to talk about that topic.
Now your friend mechanism kicks in by activating several belief systems like: “It is rude to walk away?” Or: “If I express, I don’t want to talk about that subject, they’ll think that I’m weak,” or any other belief that stops you from reaching your goal to end this conversation.
So you follow your beliefs, keep up your appearance, stay and keep listening and you hope the emotion you feel will disappear. But as hard as you try, your feelings intensify and you can’t stop the tears that are welling-up in your eyes.
Are you familiar with situations similar to this example? If so, try to go back in your mind to one of those similar situations. Now ask yourself, what is it that I have to do to keep myself from bursting into tears? What is the first thing that comes up from what you did, and usually do, to cope with your feelings in these kinds of situations?
We all have developed different mechanisms to suppress unwanted emotions, and this takes on the form of certain rituals or habits. Every person has their own set of rituals and their own specific behavioral pattern to cope with unwanted emotions. Let’s figure out how this works.
The rituals of your friend mechanism
Your friend’s ritual consists of familiar acts and behavior patterns. To understand this better let’s analyze the above example for a moment. Keep in mind that you created these rituals/habits yourself. Once you become aware of these patterns you are also the only one (here comes the good part) that can change them into ones that really serve you!
Let’s do a little exercise:
Go back in your mind to a situation you felt unwanted emotion rise to an uncomfortable level and relive that situation in your mind until you become aware of these feelings again. Now allow this feeling without suppressing them.
- What do you do with your eyes when you feel the tears welling up?
- Do you squeeze them tightly or start to blink faster?
- Do you begin to stare or start looking around, up, down?
- If so what’s your most helpful detail to focus on?
- What happens to your breathing?
- Does it become shallow or deep?
- Do you hold your breath or start to breathe faster?
- What do you do with your hands?
- Do you leave them hanging or make a fist?
- Do you start to move your hands or play with your clothes or another object?
- What do you say to yourself when you feel these emotions?
- Something like: “Not now” or “I feel nothing” or “don’t cry” or “I’m not a baby.”
These are just a few of many rituals and behavior patterns your friend mechanism can use to suppress unwanted feelings. We all created many of these friend rituals and inhibiting beliefs during our life but only very few people are consciously aware of this. As long as you are not aware of it you cannot change it.
The behavior patterns, friend rituals and belief systems to suppress unwanted emotions are typically yours because they are always based on your personal experiences in life. Unfortunately, when these rituals and beliefs are empowered by activated bad clusters, be assured that such belief systems will never serve you. Many people suffer from a whole lot of these limiting beliefs like: “I’m not good enough”, or, “this will never work”, or, “nobody loves me”, etc.
During your life you created these rituals and beliefs and your friend mechanism carries them out to make you feel as comfortable as possible in uncomfortable situations. But to do so it can only use previously installed rituals and beliefs that comforted you before. Considering the soothing effect of this mechanism it is a really good friend; because it will always lead you as far as possible away from pain.
But this mechanism will be out of balance once activated bad clusters come into the picture. Because you are not consciously aware of the content of bad clusters, you will experience the negative feelings that are carried out in your body once the bad cluster is activated.
These activations can happen any time in any situation. The only thing needed to make that happen are present observations of similar details like colors, objects, words, sounds, smells, facial expressions, touch etc. that are also present in a bad cluster. In other words, even a happy event (like a party) can activate a painful bad cluster in your subconscious.
This creates a problem! Why? Because the activated bad cluster feelings are in no way fitting for the situation you are in right now (like being at a fun party). Now your friend mechanism has to get real creative to “sell” it to yourself why you feel these negative feelings, these “mood swings”. In this creative process we come up with all kinds of (incorrect) beliefs about why we feel the way we do.
For instance, you are at a gathering and from one moment to the other you’re very nauseous. You try to sit differently and sit more straight, take a sip of water and hope the nausea will go away. If these tricks (rituals) do not work your beliefs start to kick in rapidly. As a true master of deception you come up with the most “reasonably” and “logical” sounding beliefs with only one purpose, to lead you away from the real problem, the painful and nauseating content of the bad cluster.
Your friend mechanism could come up with beliefs like: “It’s definitely the temperature in the room, its way too warm here. I should not have eaten just before I came here. I always get nauseated when I’m nervous. I’m sure these people do not like me here and that makes me feel sick. I think I’m getting the flue,” and the beliefs go on and on.
The purpose of all these beliefs is to convince yourself of what the reason is why you feel nauseated. In reality you comfort yourself with incorrect beliefs that lead you away from the real, but more painful, content of the bad cluster. You think you solved the problem, but in fact you pushed the revealing of the real cause further and further away from the conscious part of your brain.
The only thing what will happen with all these beliefs is cover up why you suddenly really felt the negative feelings in your body. Your body wants to tell you something and you are the only one that can listen to it. But you can only do that after you become aware of how your brain creates these friend mechanisms.
In one of my upcoming blogs I will explain further how these feelings and rituals create sabotaging belief systems. If you want to start right away you can find a much more detailed explanation in the textbook for Progressive Mental Alignment, Desirable Power by Jacob Korthuis.
Once you understand that process it will provide you with the insight how you can influence this process in the most positive way to change your life.
And if you allow me I’m here to help you with that!