Life can be hard at times, it seems as if there is so much to do and so little time to do it. With responsibilities like work, caring for our families, and generally making sure those around us are happy and content, we can easily forget about making sure we are happy and content ourselves.
For a lot of people, the most difficult times start once the “dark” winter-months arrived. The grey weather, the cold, rain, lack of colorful trees and flowers activates a mood that makes them feel far from happy.
When talking to others and telling them that, during these months, you experience several depression symptoms like; irritation, apathy, being sleep deprived or the need to sleep too much, headaches, a lack of energy, or just feeling blue, these symptoms can be labeled as depression symptoms. By not taking enough time for yourself will increase those terrible symptoms even more.
If you suffer from these feelings it’s totally understandable that you lack the power to put focus on anything else but your daily necessary tasks. Even doing fun things can feel like such a burden instead of entertainment. These feelings of being drained can intensify if you don’t take enough free time out for yourself!
Whether you are feeling down, or you feel like you are so wound up that you just can’t unwind, taking time out to refresh and recharge is important for both yourself and those around you.
The question is how can you start making time for yourself even when you are so busy taking care of everyone and everything else?
Lets just start with some small steps that can already make a big difference in your daily life.
Some Basic Tips to Take Time Out for Yourself
- The first step is to realize that ‘you time’ needs to be a priority. To be at your best and help others you need to be healthy and whole.
- Make time everyday that is just for you, even if it is just 15 minutes, by making this time an essential part of your day, you are recognizing that you deserve to take time out.
- Choose something you love to do, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or taking a hot bath. Use the time you have set aside for yourself to do some of your favorite things.
- Go through your priorities, you know those things you feel you really have to do, evaluate what is truly important. You don’t have to be on every committee, or meet every single person’s needs all of your time. By working out what is really important you can free up time that you need to recharge again.
- Start or pick up a hobby like going out for a great diner, listening to your favorite music or treating yourself by having a massage – or find another way to meet your own needs. Having a goal or purpose that you truly enjoy working towards can make a huge difference in your life.
By taking time out for you, you can ease some of the depression symptoms temporarily. And I say temporarily because the root-causes of WHY you have these depression symptoms are still untouched!
And don’t worry, I will give you the tools in one of my next blogs on how to get rid of the hidden subconscious programs that cause these depression symptoms.
But in this blog I want to give you some general tools that will soothe the negative feelings. Taking a much-needed break can help put everything back into perspective. By putting off a much-needed break you are only doing more damage to your emotional and physical well-being
Make time for yourself as a routine, you are worthy of becoming the best person you can be, start by taking valuable time out for yourself.
In the book Desirable Power you read how and why the Progressive Mental Alignment technique works, and how you can apply it to deal with depression forever.
A friend of mine had an older sister, we’ll call her – Veronica. When Veronica left home for the first time, she rented a cute little apartment just outside the city, and my friend and I would go visit her quite often. We often had “painting parties”to change the colors of her house because Veronica was so (not) so decisive. She would choose so many colors for her wall and never quite had the right one in mind. But, despite of all the work it cost us, we always had a great time. We would laugh until all hours of the night, bake cookies and bond over mysterious “woman” talks. 🙂 Veronica was a good person. She was always very helpful and caring, and often tried to get the best out of everything. Not to mention, I’ll never forget the amazing cookies she baked for all of us.
But the most interesting thing about Veronica was that while she was a fun and nice person, she was (for me at that time) quite unpredictable. She had these so called “mood swings” that sent everybody hiding in another room, taking some cookies on their way because we knew we would be in there for a while. One minute she was laughing and having a wonderful time, and the other minute – volatile. She would focus on a crumb that happened to fall on the ground, or a tiny splatter of paint that managed to make its way onto the tile. And for us, it was so confusing that one-minute she would laugh about a splash of paint that hit the tile and another time she would go BAZOOKA.
Now, I know a lot of women are familiar with these sudden changes in mood. And mood swings are for many so difficult to understand because there’s no obvious reason (to the outsiders looking in) as to what happens to change the energy in the present surroundings.
There is a reason why Veronica reacted so “unpredictably” from such a good moment to a negative outburst. It’s not that she just decided for herself: “Hey, letshave a outburst right now, because it feels so good!” She reacted based on similarities of the same ingredients in one of her a bad clusters (think of the zoo example with Marla).
I know it can be difficult to be in the same surroundings as someone who has mood swing episodes. Although they are sporadic, I even have a hard time being around myself when I have one. 🙂 But, know that you can overcome this and even help others with just asking a few Progressive Mental Alignment questions that will snap them right out of that state.
The accepted explanations for the cause of mood swings are as follows:
– They are a result of dealing with stressful and/or unexpected situations in daily life.
– They are the result of an unhealthy diet, lifestyle, drug abuse, hormonal imbalance, hyperactivity and ADHD. (Veronica suffered from none of these things)
The treatment is an interesting cocktail of medicines, exercise, treats, distractions (watching TV or reading) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Which is learning to bring oneself down or up, taking a proactive approach to managing your moods and sense of self-esteem.
However, I’m here to tell you that the real cause of mood swings is 100% caused by information that is wrongly stored in your subconscious. There were different elements of that “painting party” (which are totally unique to Veronica) that activated her sudden change in mood – which is why the other people couldn’t see it coming. Because the specific ingredients of the room like the music, the colors of the paint, the body posture of the other people, the type of cookies (the list goes on), are stored somewhere in her subconscious as a bad cluster. And as soon as there are so many of these ingredients present, she starts to feel it in her body, which rapidly changes her mood.
In one of my previous blogs I explained the existence of “bad clusters” in your subconscious. In this post I won’t go into more explanation, but I’ll take you through an exercise that will help you overcome your own mood swings in just a jiffy!
The exercise we are going to do is a basic approach to the Progressive Mental Alignment technique. You can use it for any kind of negative feeling that suddenly pops-up. This could be an irritation, anger, jealousy, sadness, depression and any other nasty feeling you want to overcome as fast as possible.
This exercise is very simple, that is to say if you are not afraid of yourself. 🙂 Let’s get right into it:
- Pay attention to WHEN exactly you felt your good mood going down the drain.
- What did you see, hear, smell, taste or touch just seconds before that you didn’t like?
- Don’t start “thinking” now, just go with the first moment that pops-up, from just before your mood changed?
- Focus on that moment?
- What specific part this moment do you not like?
- Is it something you see, hear, smell, taste or touched?
- VERY IMPORTANT: Don’t THINK about this but pay attention to your body! You body will tell you instantly. How? By intensifying the negative feeling you already experienced.
- Now just focus on that particular detail in that moment. Is it something you see, hear, smell, taste or touched?
- After you clearly feel what the specific detail is that intensifies your negative feeling, focus on that detail.
- If you focus just on that particular detail, how does that affect your feelings? Does it get worst? Great! You are on the right track and almost there.
- What is it exactly that you feel? Try not to describe the feeling as a label, but WHERE in your body do you feel WHAT? Pay attention to even the slightest changes in your feelings.
- Now focus only on that particular detail that you do not like, and become fully aware of how this makes you feel.
- Now allow your brain to spontaneously come up with any memory it wants to.
- What is the first memory that pops-up spontaneously? (It can be anything! It doesn’t have to make sense to you at this point WHY this memory came up. Just allow at and don’t push it away!)
- What is dominant in that memory that just popped up?
- This memory is now our next point forward and we are going to repeat the previous process.
- So again you ask yourself: What in this memory creates the most negative feeling in my body?
- Once your body tells you what the moment is (remember, don’t think! Feel!), you focus on that moment and ask yourself: What in this most is that one thing that annoys me most and intensifies my negative feeling?
- Once you found the detail of that memory that is most important to you, focus on that detail and allow the feeling that it activates until SPONTANIOUSLY a new memory pops-up.
Do you notice that focusing on this moment and detail intensifies the feelings?
This brief exercise is to help you learn how your subconscious mind uses comparison material that you are usually never aware of. Your subconscious processes between two million times more sensory data than you will ever become aware of. If it would not do this, then you would have no awareness! The “spontaneous” memories you just saw are a part of this subconscious comparison material. The feelings attached to those memories cause your specific mood swing.
Most of the people that follow this exercise instantly feel better, just because of the many connections your subconscious has made through this new insight. Some people that try this exercise might feel that their negative has gotten more intense after these first two rounds. So you’re probably saying, “Oh wow, great! Thank you Ingrid, now I feel even more miserable than before!” No, No, I wont let you hang there J. Actually, the feeling that you have right now tells you that you are on the right track and the only thing you have to do is finish it and make a home run!
And again you don’t have to do this by yourself, I will give you the right tools to do so. Now we’re getting to the core of what Progressive Mental Alignment is all about. Now, continue this exercise and keep doing what we did before, until …… a spontaneous memory pops-up that you could never consciously remember before but your body was giving you the signals all along.
And, you are so right to say that this is technically not a “memory”. It is the content of a bad cluster. This bad cluster is the root cause of your mood swing. Once this image (“memory” for lack of a better word) pops-up in your conscious brain, you will immediately feel the negative feeling wash away. You can compare it to carrying a bag of stones on your back and suddenly it is not necessary to carry that entire load anymore. Now you have the freedom to decide what you want do with your regained energy.
The amazing thing about this process is, that once the bad cluster becomes a conscious memory, this particular bad cluster will never ever cause a negative feeling ever again! The reason for that was because the content of a bad cluster was never analyzed correctly before, but because of the Progressive Mental Alignment process it now becomes a conscious memory and will be analyzed and stored correctly in your awareness. What is even more amazing is the fact that by transforming the negative energy of bad clusters you can heal many psychosomatic complaints like headaches, intestinal problems, depression, addictions, chronic fatigue and many, many other health problems.
This process can take as little, or as much time as you would like it to. But what’s important to remember is that your overall wellness (mental and physical) is 100% about the proper communication between the information stored in your subconscious you cannot “remember” and the emotions you attach to this information through your conscious awareness. As soon as the conscious brain becomes aware of this “wrongly stored” information, this information will be stored correctly within a split of a second and major medical psychosomatic problems you’ve suffered from (for years!) will immediately subside.
Wishing you tons of health and happiness,
Place the power of transformation in your own hands and heal your deepest wounds.
You know that feeling…
Your heart starts racing. It’s pounding out of your chest at hundred miles an hour. You’re dizzy, have shortness of breath, feel completely out of touch with reality -total panic.
These are the accepted explanations for symptoms and [causes] of panic attacks. But before we take our trip to the zoo, I would like to briefly touch on the term ‘causes’ by this accepted definition. Your heart doesn’t arbitrarily decide to start racing at hundred miles an hour, it doesn’t just choose to beat faster, it is not the cause of your panic attack – only the result. I will demonstrate what I mean by this idea during our visit to the zoo….
Then the accepted treatments for “panic disorder” are therapies, medications, breathing exercises, dieting, meditation, and general self-help methods.
There are some days that you can go from being in a fantastic mood, having a very good feeling, then with a split of a second, having a very negative feeling. One moment everything seems to be sunny and colored with rainbows, and the other moment there’s a thunderstorm happening around you. In most cases, you have no clue what it is that “hit” you, causing you to go from a great to a terrible feeling.
Do you remember the blog where I told you about the baby who got its head stuck in the crib, and how that experience created a bad cluster? I’ve provided an example below that shows how in a totally different situation, a bad cluster created many years ago can get activated and cause these same extreme changes in your feelings.
Let’s go back to the crib:
Marla is 1 year old and she awakens in her crib and starts to play with a stuffed animal (lion) and a colorful ball. She is getting good at crawling and gets exited because she discovers how she can push the ball and make it move, rolling it around with her fancy new moves.
She hits her head with the bars of the crib and her head gets stuck between them. In a reflex, she tries to pull her head back but it’s hopelessly stuck and she can’t get out. The pain and pressure in her head is getting stronger, the temperature is rising in her little body and her heart starts to race and every single muscle is tense. She creates a bad cluster. She cries so hard that her mom comes to the rescue. Very easily she pushes one bar to the side and frees her. The mom picks her up and is holding her in her arms.
Now picture this baby 30 years later as an adult woman.
Every year she and her friend Stacy plan a girl’s day out. One of them gets to surprise the other were they’re going, and this this year it’s Marla’s turn to pick out a place. Last week she received a newsletter from the Zoo, advertising a newborn lion cub. Trilled by the picture of the cub she decides this will be her surprise for the yearly day out with her friend.
That day, Marla felt so excited and gave the surprise ticket to Stacy. She explained to her about the young cub and how adorable it looked on the photo with its brown striped fur and dark brown eyes, soooo cute! It was a sunny day, they first had breakfast together before they went filled with joy to the Zoo.
At the Zoo they went to see the Lion cub, and unfortunately there was already a large group of people that had the same idea. Marla stayed optimistic and joined the back of the line. Soon, more and more people showed up and it became really crowded. People were pushing her to the front, knocking Marla off her balance. Still, she focused on her goal to see the cub was starting to get somewhat irritated. It was getting hotter and because of the large crowd she couldn’t get out. Ahead of her there were two children crying she was looking at, they were wearing bright colorful shirts.
Suddenly, Marla felt an intense fear and her muscles started tensing up, her heart started to beat faster and her head was getting warmer by the minute. She tried to move backwards but was wedged in between all the people, which wasn’t doing any good for the rising feeling of panic she already felt. Tears burn in her eyes and the only thing she wants is to do is get out of there! She moves her arms to the side but regardless how she moves, she can’t get out. Her head is spinning and her face gets redder by the minute. Marla starts to cry and immediately her friend Stacy comes to the rescue by putting her arm around Marla, saying soothing words, telling her that everything will be fine.
Marla calms by Stacy’s voice and people around her make more space so she feels free again. In front of her she sees the little tiny lion cub and the children in the bright colored shirts looking at her. The panic emotions she felt before slowly disappears.
She cannot consciously remember her scary crib experience, because it’s stored in a bad cluster, but her body sure enough feels the result of this activated bad cluster. If it would be just the lion cub that activated the stuffed lion inside the bad cluster (the stuffed lion in her crib), it would have not come to such a panic attack. But because there are so many similarities, each activated similarity will intensify the negative feelings.
So why did the situation at the zoo (which was totally different than her scary childhood experience) cause her to react the same way? This happens because the subconscious brain does not think or feel. It just compares pieces of sensory data like colors, objects, symptoms of feelings, voices, words etc. Each single detail activates a whole lot of similar subconscious comparison material. Our present feelings are created out of the feelings that are attached to this activated comparison material. Our subconscious is a stimulus/response machine that just compares, reads codes and executes feelings.
As long as the activated comparison material is correctly analyzing and storing sensory data of normal events, we’re fine. But the comparison material that is stored in a bad cluster we cannot remember. Every single detail of a bad cluster event has the same scary feelings attached to it. Once several details of a bad cluster are activated, we will feel these negative feelings in our body.
I understand that you might have a lot of questions about how this works and why the brain works this way, and know that I can help you overcome panic attacks and many other health issues. I will go into much more details in my future blogs about this, but if you don’t want to wait, you can find all the answers by reading an amazing book called Desirable Power, written by the founder of Progressive Mental Alignment, Jacob Korthuis. There are two versions available on my website in the Wellness Shop (a hard copy and an eBook), that I would be happy to send to you.
To having another great day at the Zoo,
Witness the powerful and immediate impact of Progressive Mental Alignment on yourself and others!
“Finally, it’s my last week of work and then my vacation will officially start”. You’ve counted down every second. This is the moment when you realize that all the work you still have to do this last week seems like a piece of cake. You have no idea where all your energy comes from, but just thinking of that well deserved beach vacation gives you a boost of energy juice. This already indicates that by just thinking of your vacation, a ton-load of positive memories and feelings get activated.
So far so good!
(skip forward a week, or two)
Your vacation was perfect. Before departing you read an article on How to Allow Your Vacation to Amaze You, which resulted in an amazing time away from your hectic life.
I know that feeling so well. Coming home after a week of basking in the sun’s glory, smelling like suntan lotion and feeling overall fabulous, you feel so good – and you want to tightly hold on to that worry-free mood you’re in. Just living in the moment and not thinking of all the obligations your daily life presents to you. Just feeling your toes in the sand with a cool drink in your hand and the sound of the beach waves in the background…
Can you picture it? Go back to the beach in your mind and feel the soothing affects in your body.
Then, click the video to your right and feel what happens when your daily routine kicks back in.
It’s your first day back to work and this lovely sound wakes you up. What was I thinking, buying this stupid alarm clock with this awful sound for my wake up call…Yes, you’re awake now and that relaxing vacation feeling is instantly replaced by the sound of obligations. Such a great way to start your day 🙁
With every fiber in your body, you instantly know that your free time is over and the first thing that goes trough your head is how badly you want to throw the alarm clock against the wall. But, the wiser voice in your head takes over and tells you that by doing so, you’ll have to buy a new one – so to follow your first impulse is not the smartest choice (unfortunately).
You drag yourself out of bed and there you are in front of the mirror thinking, “where is the spirit of last week?” You take a shower, get dressed and slowly get back into your work-mode, your mind is going a million miles a minute arranging what has to be done that day.
The ‘strange’ thing in all this is – you realize that the very same work you’re going to do today doesn’t seem to go by as smoothly as in the week just before your vacation. You start to ask yourself, “how it was even possible that I’ve managed to fit that many tasks in just one day and still have the energy to do all kinds of choirs around the house.” Now after being rested so well on your vacation, it’s around 1:30 p.m. and the only thing you want to do is go back to bed and wish it was Friday…
How come that, even when you love your job, it feels like such a burden returning to your normal work schedule after vacation time?
One of the many reasons is that your body was much more exhausted before you left than you realized. If you think back in time about how you felt before you vacation (and you’re completely honest to yourself), were your really so energetic in doing all those daily tasks? Did you feel the alarm signals in your body that were telling you to take it down a notch?
Our body is constantly communicating with us, and why don’t we act upon these warning signals? Our constant crave for a nap never seems to alter, our allergies may be out of control, our immune system isn’t functioning at 100% (because we’re tired most of the time), our eating habits may not be as healthy as they should be. Your body is telling you take a break! Yet, we don’t.
What are these signals? And how do we know when our body is trying to communicate something with us? Stay tuned for some future posts, I’ll be explaining this phenomenon and it’ll become much more clear to you how this works, and how you can use it to your own advantage.
Learn about the most powerful subconscious forces behind all of your behaviors and beliefs!
I was at the grocery store the other day and someone asked me, “how are you doing?” And I responded with, “thanks for asking, but I’m not doing so well today,” (I was curious what she would do).
I found out real fast: NOTHING! She continued on with her well-known routine and gave me a weather up-date. So, in fact she did say something in conversation, but it was totally unrelated to her first question. 🙂
Have you ever wondered why so many people have such a hard time showing real empathy or compassion for someone else? Are we so afraid of emotions? Life has taught me that in order overcome the fear to freely engage in the emotions of others, you first have to overcome the fear for your own emotions.
In order to be able to do that, you need to recognize that emotions are the result of what you experience in your body.
For instance, when a group of people are watching a movie together, each person will have a different physical reaction to what they see and hear. They might label their feeling as hope, fear, sadness, injustice, love. etc. Although they may label a certain feeling the same, they often experience this differently in their body. This can be a fun game to do this with a group of friends. For instance, you could ask them to describe how each of them experiences happiness in their body.
Tell them to go back in their mind and re-live a moment they felt (what they experienced) as happiness. Then ask them specifically: WHERE in your body do you feel WHAT? You will be surprised of the diversity of answers you get. And we’re talking here about the exact same emotion!
But if you don’t want to bring your family or friends into the picture and would prefer to stay a little closer to home, I want to encourage you to watch the following video:
Just sit back, turn up the volume and allow every emotion to come up. Pay attention to what your feelings are while you watch this video. WHERE in your body do you feel WHAT?
I don’t know how you experienced the video, but for me it was a roller coaster of different emotions and feelings in my body. I felt sadness, hope, power, strength, but as mentioned before, those are all labels. I felt changes like heart palpitations, tension in the muscles of my neck, tears, and butterflies in my stomach. You might label the emotions you felt the same way as I did, but where in your head, chest, stomach, muscles, back, etc. did you feel something, and how would you describe what you felt?
This is just the beginning of your journey in learning to understand your own true self and powers. Because making the distinction that how you perceive YOUR emotions makes you unique, will have a profound impact on how you make decisions.
In my future posts I will reveal more about the source and the importance of emotions in regards to your health, wellness, behavior and relationships. But if you’re curious and can’t wait for those posts, feel free to download this free eBook, or if you’re a book lover, start reading an awesome book, Desirable Power, in my wellness shop!
Don’t wait for the right time to start your journey to wellness. YOUR time is NOW.
Are you curious how your brain is functioning and want to free yourself of your psychological and psychosomatic complaints? Read all you need to know in Desirable Power
Experience a personal Progressive Mental Alignment session with founder Jacob Korthuis in this interactive video. Take a journey through the depths of your subconscious. Discover the root cause of depression symptoms and how to help someone with depression overcome depression permanently.
In the book Desirable Power you read how and why the Progressive Mental Alignment technique works, and how you can apply it to deal with depression forever.
What is depression?
Are you familiar with depression? I hope not. But maybe you are or maybe there is somebody in your surrounding that is. Maybe a good friend, maybe a relative or family member. If you saw it or even worse if you experience it yourself, you know depression makes life really to a dark place.
A lot of people who suffer from depression, and unfortunately more and more people suffer from depression, have that feeling of being in a bottomless pit of darkness. Even funny things, even the beautiful things of life, even the pleasant things of life, they cannot really enjoy it.
What causes depression?
If you look on internet, “what causes depression”, you see all kinds of things. It can go from hormonal situation, it can be an underlying disease, it could be you lost somebody or other nasty events in your life. I mean there’s a wide range of so-called possibilities. I don’t deny that these things play a role, of course they do, but they are not the real cause of depression, of being depressed. Being depressed is a physiological situation in your body.
What is physiology?
Well physiology is basically everything in your body that moves. Whether that is your brain activity or it is how you breathe or your respiratory system or it is your digestive system or it is the blood flow or the lymph flow or hormones. It doesn’t matter. Whatever goes from one state to another state so that what moves in your body one way or the other is called physiology, are physiological processes.
If we have feelings, regardless what kind of feelings, I mean literally everything we can feel there are more than 300 different types of feelings known by science by now that we can feel and all of them in different levels.
All of these changes that create feelings are the result of physiology. Depression is a feeling, a feeling of hopelessness, a feeling of not being able to see things as they really are.
So the real root cause of your depression is not what happened to you when the depression started, that what you think it is activated something older, something hidden deeply in your brain and the new understanding of the brain showed us how to get to those memories and how to, you could almost say anagetically rewire them so that you totally feel different about it.
How to treat depression?
In the above video, we bring up the content of bad clusters, bring it to your awareness and because we bring it to your awareness suddenly a new code is attached to it. A code based on the fact that it was something you survived, something in the past, something that isn’t dangerous anymore and a total new complex amount of physiological commands will be attached, will be attached to that experience and the physiology, the negative physiology is gone forever.
That is why Progressive Mental Alignment cures permanently, not just soften the problem; it cures the problem completely because it takes out the root cause. This was just a brief explanation. I mean I could tell you so much more about how the brain works.
I could tell you why you believe what you believe, how emotions are created, why some people have certain emotions about certain things, other people about other things, how all these processes work. There’s so much to learn about the brain, so much exciting stuff and I really wish that I would have more time to explain all these things to you but there is a ton load of information, free information on internet.
Just go on internet, progressive mental alignment, go on YouTube you’ll find a lot of information there, on our website you’ll find information, we have books, we have seminars, we have programs, we have people that we taught to be a Progressive Mental Alignment coach so we can refer you to them. There are all kinds of possibilities to get help to get rid of your depression or any other diseases that bothers you. I really look forward to meeting you in one of my next videos because I’m going to send you regularly emails about very interesting topics.
Thank you for watching this video and who knows, maybe we’ll meet one day on one of my 8 day seminars.