When you woke up this morning, were you all relaxed and able to take your time to start your day? Or did it take you some time to wake up; snoozing a little bit until you slowly felt your whole body energize?
Or perhaps you woke up and INSTANTLY, your mind filled with your to-do list. If so, what does it feel like, knowing there is a huge list of responsibilities awaiting you? Does it ‘drive’ you to conquer the day? I’m familiar with those types of mornings in which I open my eyes, instantly see my calendar in my head with all my appointments and get up running at full speed 🙂
Some may view this behavior as being highly driven…but driven by what, exactly?
“Drive” in many ways, is glorified and usually described as a respectable quality. Society doesn’t really care WHAT drives you so long as it keeps you going! But what drives you is critical to your happiness and health. Let’s look at an example.
What drives you, directs you
You may know someone who is like this or might even recognize these qualities in yourself.
Danielle always cares for others. Whenever you reach out to her, she is always there for you. She’s always willing to put her life on hold just to serve someone else. Everything else always seems more important than her own commitments. For some ‘reason’ she just can’t say ‘no’ and feels responsible for others in a big way. For some people this feeling is so strong, that they don’t even feel the right to be happy if certain family members or friends aren’t happy. So they focus all of their energy on trying to help this person as quickly as possible. Some may say Danielle is ‘driven’ by helping others but how is this drive helping or hurting her?
Have you ever experienced putting a lot of time in someone who shows no sign of appreciation? I hear it often, and have experienced it myself many times. Somebody has a problem, calls you in a panic, asks for your help and….there you go again, putting everything on hold to help them however you can. You do everything possible to help them and even find yourself worrying about them!
But here’s the “not so great” thing that sometimes happens. Being worried about that person, trying to help and find solutions to “fix” the situation. YOU call that person ask how he/she is doing and what flabbergasts you the most is that the other person sounds happy and relieved because the problem they contacted you about was already solved an hour after they called you! Aaargghhhh!! No, they did not find the time to call you with the “good” news. Suddenly they “forgot” your phone number. You were good enough to hear their hopeless stories and cries for help but when it’s all good, you are not in the picture anymore. Can you relate?
Dissect the details
Think about the last time you immersed yourself in helping someone else which didn’t turn out well for you. Take a moment to remember a particular experience.
Put yourself in that situation again, in your mind. Close your eyes and relive it again. Which particular detail pops out immediately? It could be a person, a word, a color or a sound- anything. When you focus on that specific detail what do you feel in your body and where do you feel it? Is there for instance: heaviness, heat, nausea, tightness, or any other feeling? Is it in your chest, head, stomach or somewhere else? Quiet your thoughts and let your subconscious come up with whatever image it wants. Trust what you see and pay attention to what you feel.
These images and feelings are not random; in fact they are part of you! They belong to a catalog of life experiences stored in your subconscious. The details from the most emotionally painful events (many of which you don’t even consciously remember- but your body does) build the beliefs that drive your life. Beliefs built upon powerful negative emotions do not serve you and push you to repeat behavior that sabotages your happiness!
Redirect your drive
A belief that you have to help other people and that you are responsible for someone else’s happiness originates from these deeply hidden pieces of powerful negative emotions in our subconscious- called bad clusters.
When you’re driven by your deeper purpose you’ll achieve happiness, health, success and love effortlessly and naturally. But that purpose is often clouded by the pain from the life experience that form our perspective. Our deepest negative emotions, from subconscious bad clusters, blocks your path towards your purpose and causes unhealthy behaviors and beliefs.
When you break through the pain you open the path to a life filled in passion and purpose!
Discover what drives you and change the direction of your journey towards joy!
Learn how to rise above your mind’s most powerful impulses to heal yourself and improve your life!
I was thinking a lot about ideals lately. We all have them and for some of us, they represent a deeper sense of what we really want from life. These perfected pictures of what life ‘should’ be can sometimes impact people’s decisions, opinions, and plans. But, far too often, I see so many people chasing these ideals without ever reaching them.
What’s the point of ideals if they’re not really improving your life? How do they fit into your current reality?
What Does It Look Like?
Let’s think about your most cherished ideals for a moment. Which ideals do you envision for your community, your family and yourself? Some people think about the ideal figure (Although the reason why so many people focus on that particular ideal and why it drains your energy is a topic for a different blog!)
Anyway, if you had to pick one ideal, what would it be? Do you picture the ideal career, spouse, or house? Perhaps you think about what an ideal society should look like or what an ideal mother is.
Out of all these ideals, which would you say is your most cherished one? What is the main thing that you strive for each day? Although it might be tough, pick the ONE ideal that stands out above the rest. Make sure to answer this question to really enjoy the ride. I’m about to take you on 🙂
I’ll share some of the ones that come up often during sessions with clients. Someone told me “I want to live happy”. Someone else said “I want to have an amazing job”. You might relate and think “Yes, I get it- that’s my ideal too!”
Sharpen The Picture
The sad part about these ideals is that they are too limited for your brain to grasp and, as a result, are doomed to fail. While the words are positive and uplifting, your subconscious brain has no real clue what to do with such a narrow thought. Phrases like “I want to live happy”, or “I want to have an amazing job” are not exact or precise enough for your subconscious to work with. If your subconscious brain does not receive clear instructions detailing an exact picture of what you want to achieve, it is unable to provide your conscious brain with the right ideas and opportunities. It will also be unable to help you notice the little things in life that lead you towards your ideal.
Let’s look at both examples. When someone tells me, “I want to live happy” and “I want to have an amazing job”, my first question is: what, for YOU, is a happy life? What does an amazing job look and feel like for you? These “simple” questions are surprising to hear for many. They often get stuck and don’t know how to respond. Usually they’ll say things like: “That’s weird, I’ve never asked myself this question in depth. I thought it was clear to me, but now I realize it’s not.” This has nothing to do with intelligence. It is all about their deeply rooted emotions and beliefs that inhibited them from creating a detailed and clear picture.
To reach your goals you need to be specific. If you’re not exact, than you will not reach your ideal; not in a million years. Your brain will never make the needed connections to help you realize an ideal if it does not receive detailed information and words that describe even the smallest element of exactly what you’re looking for.
Just go back to the Ideal you picked out for yourself. Ask yourself what does this ideal mean in detail for me? What standard does it have to meet?
Let’s stick to our example: “I want to live happy”.
- What does that mean for you physically and emotionally?
- Where do you want to live?
- Do you want to live in your current residence, a different city or even another state or country?J
- What kind of work would you like to do?
- Do you want to have friends around you and if so what are the specific criteria for these friends?
These and many other details are needed in order for your subconscious to make your ideals a reality.
Watch It Come To Life
As you can tell, there a lot of specifics, but it’s sooo worth it to become aware of them. Once you define what it is you want in detail, your subconscious can make you aware of the smallest opportunities that you normally wouldn’t even notice had you kept your ideal too narrow. The more detailed the image of your ideal is, the easier and faster it is for your subconscious brain to catch the signals in your surroundings that will help you to get where you want to be.
If you are on a mission to realize your ideal you need to envision every detail clearly to make it happen.
Becoming aware of the details of your ideal might lead to a surprising new outcome.
Your overall (narrow) ideal might be clear to you but it is never set in stone. Does that mean you can’t reach it? Of course you can. You will reach YOUR ideal situation, an ideal that fits you best. It can change course once you have all the details clear. By filling in all the details of what exactly it is you want and in what time frame, you’ll be setting a clear goal and direction. Now your subconscious is on high alert and will give you the right and most effective input.
Not having a detailed clear image of what you want does one thing for sure: It won’t allow you to reach your ideal and you will get frustrated, disappointed and discouraged. Dealing with many clients in my practice taught me one thing very clearly: The people that have a clear detailed image of their ideals make that ideal a reality!
Break Through The Barriers
On the other hand, there are others that continue holding on to narrow ideals. They don’t do that because they like it or to disappoint themselves for not achieving it. They do it for a whole different reason; a reason of which they are not aware. Keeping yourself busy and therefore focused on a narrow, non-detailed, “ideal” keeps your brain occupied. In Progressive Mental Alignment we call this a ritual of your friend mechanism part 1 and part 2 Blog. They use it only as a distraction to avoid inner conflicts and don’t actually believe they’ll ever reach it. Curious about how that works and why they do that? Well, that’s a topic for a whole different blog.
For now you should KNOW that your ideals are completely achievable when you actually begin to make the changes and clarify your ideals, including all the details. By doing that your ideals WILL become reality, then you’ll open up your world in unbelievable ways.
You’ll be able to connect on new levels, and meet the powerful prospect of opportunity beyond anything you thought possible. Start to see your dreams come true before your eyes!
Witness the powerful and immediate impact of Progressive Mental Alignment on yourself and others!
Odds are, you hate your job.
That’s according to a recent Gallup poll which cites that 70 percent of people dislike their place of work. SEVENTY percent! That’s a huge number!
Are you one of the millions of people who wake up, every morning, dreading the day ahead?
Many employees say it’s because of a lack of appreciation, respect, encouragement, and fulfillment. People overwhelmingly feel as if they aren’t living out their dreams or using their talents in a valuable way.
Check Your Beliefs at the Door
So the big question is why? Why do people stay in jobs that make them so unhappy?
If you reflect upon your own experience, what do you feel when you think about your own job? What do you feel are the reasons you aren’t pursuing your dreams?
Do any of these sound familiar?
-It’s too hard to find a job in my field
-I don’t have enough education
-I have too many responsibilities at home to risk it
-What I like to do wouldn’t pay enough
-I don’t have the time to put the effort it takes
-It’s too late for me to switch careers now
-I don’t have enough support from those around me.
-There are too many hurdles
-This is life. We don’t always get what we want
-I’m not getting noticed by the right people
No matter what you’re reason, you’re right, at least that’s how it feels for you. You’ll notice, all these statements or reasons are belief systems. Belief systems only possess power if they are supported by feelings. The data of many experiences that are stored in your subconscious serve as the basis and origin of your beliefs. Unfortunately most of our beliefs that are loaded with negative feelings originate in deeply hidden comparison material in your subconscious. It is enlightening and freeing to discover the root source of these negative beliefs. That’s because it is your BELIEFS that determine your life. Your beliefs can propel you forward at a high rate of speed or slow you down until you’re completely stopped. The only difference is YOU.
What you believe about the world and about yourself drives every decision you make and behavior pattern you hold on to.
The thoughts that consume your mind represent your greater belief systems. Ask yourself, are these beliefs serving or sabotaging your future?
Changing your beliefs is the key to unlocking your greatest potential. But how?
Is the answer thinking positively, adopting mantras, vision boards, and repetition? These methods certainly have some value but most of these tools do not have the power to address what subconsciously forms your negative beliefs.
Leave Fear Behind
Fear is one of the many reasons behind your strongest self-sabotaging belief systems. Fear, which lingers from past experiences, sits there stuck, deep within your subconscious. It manifests itself through a variety of painful emotions like depression, sadness, anger, anxiety, and more when triggered by details in our environment.
If you had to come up with one or even two things that you fear, what comes up first? You might come up with:
The fear of saying ‘no’ to something you don’t like to do
Fear of freely addressing your thoughts
Fear of spiders
Fear of heights
Fear of crowds
Fear of the dark
Fear of flying
Our body’s most powerful instinct, the force to drive away from pain, will do anything to keep us from the TRUE reason for our fear so it pushes us to create belief systems that supposedly “explains” our feelings in order to prevent greater discomfort.
Discomfort. Hmmm. It is Author Neale Donald Walsch who asserts that “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” It’s true! It’s a stern reminder, a DECLARATION that the best thing you can do for yourself is to face your fear- no matter how painful. Because when you do, you demolish what’s blocking you from seeing the brightness of your future and the reality of your amazing potential. You replenish belief in yourself effortlessly and naturally.
Embrace New Possibilities
But what does this mean? Am I telling you to take a leap head first into 20 feet of water to cure your fear of drowning? No. I AM encouraging you to embark on the deepest journey of self-discovery you’ve ever experienced so you see WHY you fear drowning- and by doing so you will cure it-forever.
I am encouraging you to explore the content of your subconscious. Science shows us that the simple act of revealing these fear-packed roadblocks in your subconscious releases their powerful hold on your beliefs and eliminates the connected negative feelings forever.
You’ll feel instantly happier, more powerful, and clearer about the direction of your life.
You’ll BELIEVE and move forward accordingly when you say:
-Anything is possible
-There is the perfect career/job out there that WILL accommodate my lifestyle and my skills
-The only hurdles are the ones I place on myself
-life is full of endless possibilities and I’m open to all of them
-It’s never too late to change my life
-Whatever happens I’m going to be successful!
I can help you easily and quickly reach the deepest parts of your subconscious so that you see yourself in a whole new light. Don’t accept unhappiness any longer.
Start living the life of your dreams today!
Learn about the most powerful subconscious forces behind all of your behaviors and beliefs!
It’s time. The moment you’ve prepared for. You’re back stage and take a peek at the growing crowd out front. At any moment you’ll be standing in front of all those people for a presentation.
You feel your stomach get into knots…or maybe it’s butterflies! Your hands get sweaty and your heart starts beating. You take a deep breath and….show time!
Does this scenario sound familiar to you? Think about the last time you were asked to speak in front of a group. What did you feel right before you went up? Many people express feeling frozen, and confused about what they’re going to say while replaying the possibilities in their head about all of the things that could happen. They talk about not wanting to look nervous while often replaying the moment in their head afterwards; fixated on what they could have said differently and wondering what the audience must have thought.
Can you relate to that? Those moments are very intense and many of us have been there. Public speaking is one of the most common fears of adults. In fact it’s reported that 74% of people have some level of fear about talking in front of people. That’s a huge number!
What makes the fear even worse is that most people can’t avoid public speaking. Whether you have a presentation for work, a special personal event, or an educational project, at some point you have to stand in front of a crowd!
Because of its lingering presence in our life, public speaking is something worth addressing for the benefit of our personal and professional goals. It’s time to do something about it!
Embrace the fear
Sometimes even just the thought of an upcoming speech or presentation is enough to freak you out! How in the world are you supposed to successfully prepare for a public speaking engagement if you can’t even think about it?
The truth is that the best way to solve the issue IS to think about it. You need to think about how to discover the triggers that activate the subconscious source of your fear! Focusing on that fear can help you understand the real depth of those emotions and that there is something much bigger going on here that is much more significant than talking in front of people.
What are the triggers that makes it so scary?
The mainstream psychology approach
In mainstream psychology they tell you that Public Speaking is the ultimate form of vulnerability! To be ‘vulnerable’ means to be ‘open to moral attack and criticism, to be open to assault, and to be susceptible to being wounded or hurt’.
Standing and performing in front of people can feel like an open invitation for judgment and criticism on a grand scale. It’s like being thrown out on the battle field with no weapon! Can you imagine that loss of control, fear, and urge to run away that would arise in that situation?
These arguments all sound reasonable and make sense on a rational level. The thing is, fear is not rational. It’s emotional!
Try a more effective approach
Here is an interesting experiment you can perform:
- If you are afraid of public speaking then ask yourself and other people with a similar fear the following questions:
- If you think of a real event when you felt this fear, what in that event is the most important moment that you are afraid of?
- Is it when you enter the platform, when you see all the people looking at you, the fact that most of them are strangers, or could it be that you know them all too well? Might it be the microphone?
- In that moment what is the most dominant detail? What is that one thing that intensifies your fear?
- If you want to go a little deeper into this you ask:
- What did you picture in your head about the public speaking event before you had to speak?
- What in that picture is the most dominant detail that intensifies your feeling of fear?
- After they isolate that one detail ask them where in their body they feel the emotion.
- Once they describe the physical symptoms that create their fear, ask them to fully allow those symptoms and accept them while focusing on that one detail that stands out.
- Now ask: If you allow your subconscious to come up with whatever it wants, what is the first memory that pops-up?
Road map to lasting succes
You will notice that different people will give you different details about what they’re afraid of and always a different memory that pops-up. What they all feel is fear that intensifies even more after the memory pops up.
These are the EXACT emotions linked to the bad clusters stored in our subconscious. When these bad clusters, which are packed with the strongest feelings of fear, are triggered for any reason, we automatically feel the fear in our body!
Understanding how your subconscious brain works and how it creates emotions like fear can not only help you identify what your specific triggers are but also reveal and eliminate the bad cluster- the source of your fear!
The wonderful thing about it, is that once a bad cluster is removed it will never come back.
You’re fear will disappear and you’ll experience much more confidence and emotional strength.
Understand your fear and conquer it. It’s the power you need to stand out in the crowd!
Explore the depths of your subconscious and the powerful impact of a Progressive Mental Alignment session right from home!
We all have an opinion,are driven and decide everything we do based on our beliefs. Some of our beliefs are very powerful and we will do everything possible to defend and hold on to them. Our most powerful beliefs determine who we are, how we think, decide, act and behave.
What are the first beliefs that come to your mind that determine your thinking, decisions, actions and behavior? What are the things in life that you believe you have to do or don’t want to do at all?
Maybe you are not even fully aware of some of your beliefs, although they determine the things you say and do. Your beliefs already kick in when you wake up. Let’s take a look at a very simple example: What is the first thing you believe you have to do in the morning? For some, it’s making coffee and eating breakfast, for others, it’s reading the newspaper or checking your emails or Facebook account. It can be all kinds of things.
How would you feel if you would not do that tomorrow morning? Some of these things might be easy to skip, but others might give you an unpleasant feeling if you would skip them. That feeling is caused because your beliefs are connected to a code that creates these feelings. The feelings serve as some kind of “warning system.” It is almost like your subconscious is telling you: “Hey you there, what’s going on? Did you forget that you have to do that?” Of course your subconscious does not say really say that, 😉 but it almost feels like it.
This process of beliefs that translates into feelings is an ongoing process the entire day. For instance, you might “know” instantly, even by only seeing a certain person, what kind of person that is and if you like them or not. But what creates ‘knowing” that? It is not your rational brain but you know because of the feeling that you get in your body. Why? Because your subconscious comparison material creates the feeling that creates your beliefs and opinion about that person.
This process of feelings that lead to a belief, opinion, judgment, is an ongoing process. This is also why a specific color gives you a good or bad feeling. Or the feeling of liking and disliking a particular kind of food or drink. Sometimes these feelings are so powerful that even thinking of that particular food creates nausea or makes you want to puke. If you can relate to that, what are the food or drinks that trigger a negative feeling inside of you?
We are driven by our beliefs. Our real beliefs are always based on feelings. If this is not the case, it is just a bunch of words without any real meaning to us. If these feelings are caused by activated past experiences and we can remember the event from beginning to end (in Progressive Mental Alignment we call them clusters), then everything is fine. We know why we feel the way we do.
For instance, you hear someone tell you how they cut themselves while preparing food. You can instantly imagine how this feels because you remember that time you cut yourself while preparing a piece of tough meat, or like me, slicing an apple in a not so handy way ;). These are normal memories caused by activated clusters in your subconscious brain.
But the feelings that are generated when a bad cluster is activated are always negative and you can never remember the content of the bad cluster at that moment consciously, but your body will feel the negative feelings coming from that bad cluster. It’s these moments in life when you suddenly experience a negative mood swing without any “apparent” reason.
It could even be at a wonderful party that you were enjoying until suddenly, your good feeling was replaced by a negative feeling. If you are interested you can read about that in a previous blog of mine, Your response pattern: and why everybody responds differently in the exact same situation.
The feelings created by these bad clusters are therefore never appropriate for the present situation. Simple things like a color, smell, taste, a facial expression, gesture, etc. activate these negative feelings.
Let’s assume you are at an important meeting. Suddenly you start to feel uncomfortable without being able to pinpoint a specific reason or cause for these negative feelings.
Your friend mechanism activates its comforting rituals (see my post last week). These rituals/habits that you execute “helps” you to stay in control of the uncomfortable feelings you’re experiencing. Nevertheless, this whole situation creates feelings of insecurity and loss of control. These feelings are unacceptable for us. Your brain will automatically look for a ‘logical’ reason or cause as to why you feel uncomfortable. The ‘logical’ reasons or causes your subconscious comes up with, are nothing else than opinions, judgments, conclusions, theories, or in other words – belief systems! The beliefs you use at that moment are the ones that serve you best, they lead you away from what the real cause is to why you feel or react the way you do.
In this case you might create the beliefs that something is ‘wrong’ at that meeting. You can’t trust all the people there. You have to be careful not to agree to anything they can hold you responsible to later on. Maybe they want to trick you into something you don’t want to do. They don’t want you there. It’s always you they pick on. These are all beliefs! These beliefs you are not born with, they are created during events in your life.
Because the feeling that inspires these beliefs originate from activated bad clusters and are always negative. The beliefs that originate from this bad cluster will also be negative and counterproductive. Because these beliefs soothe and suppress the conscious registration of negative feelings, these beliefs don’t feel wrong to you when you embrace them!
Experiencing these negative feelings in a business meeting can easily lead to missing out on a great financial deal or create unnecessary future tensions between you and your colleagues.
But bad clusters are not just activated at your work. These same negative and unexplainable mood swings can occur at home, when you talk to a friend, during a family meeting, etc.
Can you imagine the damage that could be caused if you would develop incorrect negative beliefs about those who are dearest to you? This is actually the number 1 underlying cause of interpersonal-relationship problems, break-ups, divorces and fights. Keep in mind, I’m referring here to negative beliefs that are empowered by bad clusters. If a negative belief originates from experiences that you can remember (clusters) they are usually correct, and if not, they are easy to change.
Sabotaging belief systems are always fueled by the feelings from activated bad clusters. These feelings belong to the most powerful feelings we have. The belief systems that originate from them are also the most powerful beliefs we have. We even create beliefs upon why these sabotaging beliefs are totally right for us to hold on to.
I understand that it can seem like a lot to grasp at once in a brief blog like this. But the information is all down to earth and easy to follow if you allow yourself to listen to your own body and subconscious mind. I know you have the power in you to do so, and you can turn your negative beliefs in ones that really serve you.
I will continue providing you with helpful tools and insights to explore your true self!